Thursday, September 1, 2011

How an Eyeglass Chain Saved the World

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(this is an example of foreshadowing)

I lost my glasses the other day.  Well, not lost them, exactly.  You see, I have many pairs of glasses.  Many, many, many pairs of glasses.  I have the pair of photosensitive bifocals my optometrist lovingly crafted for me, adjusting the height of the line over and over because it was never quite right, and he really wanted me to like them, but between the laptop and the piano and the beads and the cooking, that poor line was never in the right place.

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Then I had my two pairs of sparkly glasses that I bought online for 8.99 a pair.  They were red and had rhinestones.

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One pair was for extra close up work, like finding a piece of jewelry in the Bead Cave.  The other pair was for kind of close up, like reading, or cutting the choke out of an artichoke.

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I also had a pair at the karate studio, for when I needed to see something there.

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And I had several really bad, really cheap pairs of really strong glasses for beading.  When I unwrapped the first pair of those, the lenses fell right out.  (These aren't my beading glasses.  My beading glasses don't actually look this good.)

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Well, I broke first one pair of red sparklies and then the other pair of red sparklies.  I couldn't play the piano at all.

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I was forced to wear my bifocals while I looked for new sparklies. I almost killed myself walking down the stairs.

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One morning, after my shower, I couldn't find the bifocals anywhere.  There were no red sparklies to be found.  The website discontinued them.  And my karate glasses were at karate.

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(this is another example of foreshadowing)

This forced me to wear my beading glasses.

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I spent the day feeling kind of nauseous.

So finally I felt my way into a CVS and stumbled around until I found the glasses rack.  I borrowed a pair of glasses off the rack to look for glasses I liked, and then used those glasses to read what strength I had chosen and what the new sparkly glasses would cost.

I bought two pairs.

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(this is another example of foreshadowing)

I went home with my new sparklies.  I played the piano and worked at the computer and cut the choke out of an artichoke.

I even found my bifocals.  They had fallen behind the toilet.

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(You didn't really think I was going to use a toilet picture, did you?)

But just think... if I had used an eyeglass chain, I wouldn't have lost my glasses in the first place.  Well, actually, I would have, but they might have beene easier to spot with a bunch of fish on the chain.

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I made these for you so that, if you ever lose YOUR glasses behind the toilet, you'll just need to feel around for the fish.

I do not, however, guarantee that this will make cutting the choke out of an artichoke any easier.

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Eyeglass chains in my eBay store.

Artichoke instructions online.  (I recommend using a melon baller.)


1 comment:

  1. I LOVE my Cornerstoregoddess eyeglass gems. Can't go anywhere, or SEE anything without them!
    Brinkley

    ReplyDelete