Monday, August 1, 2011
Kitty Confessions, Part VII
My name is Dracula. I'm a special needs kitty. I have a condition known as cerebellar hypoplasia. It means that I have bad balance and I fall down a lot. Also I like to poop on the bed. I blame it on my cerebellar hypoplasia.
Sometimes I sing.
My humans went to Korea for a year and left me with Grandma. Grandma takes good care of me. She cleans my cat box five times a day, which is good because sometimes I like to sleep there. (Grandpa put a sheet of plywood in front of the bed so I couldn't poop there any more. Now I poop in his bag of guitar strings. Wait'll he finds those treasures I left him!)
Grandma feeds me canned food. She even gets me the expensive flea meds, and lets me go down the porch stairs for fun. Then she carries me back up. Sometimes I play hide and seek with the dog. She thinks she's some kind of friggin' Lassie or something.
But it's a drag having Mom and Dad in Korea, and falling down all the time. Then I read about malachite:
Malachite has been traditionally used to ward off danger and fight illness. It has been said to protect against falling and has been wrapped over bruises and broken bones to help with tissue regeneration and healing.
I had to get me some of that. Fortunately Grandma had malachite in her stash. She was making a necklace and earrings and a bracelet.
That meant she'd be dropping plenty on the floor. Grandma calls that a "heavy gravity day." I call it Smorgasbord.
She dropped plenty of malachite, and I cleverly fell on top of it to hide it.
Then, when Grandma went to look for a clasp, I rolled it down the stairs to my room. I put it in my beloved cat box.
And I sat on top of it. I sat and I sat and I sat.
I could feel it working already!
When I got up, I felt like I could do anything! I bet I could even jump over that plywood and poop on Mom and Dad's bed, like old times.
(But I'll save that for later.)
To say thank you to Grandma, I didn't poop next to the litter box for two whole days.
That made her VERY happy. She said I was a very good kitty.
If you want some malachite jewelry, Grandma has it in her etsy shop. You probably don't even need to put it in your litter box.