Thursday, October 13, 2011

Everything You Wanted to Know About Goblins But Were Afraid to Ask Revisited

Earlier posts have discussed witches and ghosts at great length.  This has caused some grumbling in the goblin community, though their frustration might be due to the fact that the Goblin Fan Club page on FaceBook has only 5 members.

Nonetheless, the Goblin Lobby has demanded equal time so, with the latest Halloween bracelet, here are some goblin facts to assist you in goblin-proofing your home.

The goblin images below, btw, are courtesy of Arthur Siderwick's Field Guide and Tony DeTerlizzi's Imaginopolis Blog.

Now gather near to better learn
A useful thing or three
Of goblin facts, assuredly
Not learned at mother's knee.

The goblin's a small critter
With a head both large and wide
Which is why, with narrow spaces,
Oft' a goblin's trapped inside.


The goblins love to sing aloud
Karaoke, a capella
With words so vile they're known to shame
The most foul mouth-ed fella.


They're bad at consequences,
Never thinking things quite through
Which is why they'll hide in ovens
And emerge as goblin stew.

The goblins are dog-haters
Fearing canines and moreover
You will never find a goblin child
Named Fido, Spot, or Rover.

And, in case you're wondering
About their fear of horses,
Well, horses stomp on goblins
Causing pain and woe, of courses.

Garbage dumps and gutters,
Junk yards, soggy sewers
Are favorite haunts of goblins
Who make refuse into skewers.


As far as meals and eating
It's said goblins are voracious.
And despite their tiny frames
Their stomachs are capacious.

The goblin's love of fire
Earns the label: pyromaniac.
The fact they'll torch their own homes
Makes them lose the label: brainiac.

The goblins believe writing
Is a way to steal their souls
And thus the public library
Belongs, instead, to trolls.

So watch out for the woodpile,
The thistle patch, rain barrel,
The chicken coop, the oven
To avoid the Goblin peril.

See Tony DeTerlizzi's Imaginopolis Blog for more on goblins.  Ten Fun Facts About Goblins can be found here.

Goblins, ghouls, and ghosts on eBay and etsy.

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