CSI Pet

A kitty slipped into the police station, looking behind her, as if she were perhaps being followed.



"Can I help you, Ma'am?" asked the Desk Sergeant.

"I surely hope so, Officer," she mewed piteously.  "You see, while I was out rubbing, er sniffing... I mean, inspecting the catnip crop, someone entered my abode and ate the tuna I was saving for my lunch."

"Are you sure you left the tuna out?" asked the Desk Sergeant.

"Oh, yes," she said.  "And later, when I was napping... I mean meditating... I think he crept in again and ate the tuna I was saving for my dinner."



"Did you get a look at him?" asked the Desk Sergeant.

"Well, just a tiny peek... when I interrupted my meditation, of course."

"Was he kind of short?  Very active?  A big barker?  Stubborn?  Let me show you a mug shot of a possible suspect.  Calls himself Dachshund."



"Oh, he was bigger than that, Officer."

"Hmm," said the Desk Sergeant.  "Well, was he sort of playful?  Liked to romp?  But with a lot of long fur?  You might have found some around.  This guy's a shedder.  He could be this Cocker Spaniel.  Here.  Let me show you his mug shot."



"Oh, my, no," said Miss Kitty.  "The thief was bigger than that!

The Desk Sergeant shuffled through his pile of mug shots.  "Hmm," he said.  "I think this might be our guy.  Plays hard, easily bored.  Very bouncy.  This Airedale Terrier could be your thief."



"No, I don't think so," said Miss Kitty.  The thief was larger, I'm sure.  After all, he did eat my tuna lunch and my tuna dinner and my tuna midnight snack."

"Ah," said the Desk Sergeant.  "You didn't mention the snack and dinner.  Maybe this Lab is our suspect.  Kinda mouthy.  Always gotta be chewin' something.  Good-natured but kinda rowdy.  Here.  Take a look at this."  He pulled out another mug shot.



"No, no, no," said Miss Kitty.  My thief was about that size, but kind of wet.  He left a big puddle of water behind each time."

"Why didn't you say so!" exclaimed the Desk Sergeant.  "This dog escaped from Ocean World.  Not sure what his breed is, but he could be the one."



"That's him!" exclaimed Miss Kitty.  "I'd know that face... beak... anywhere!  And look at that magnificent wingspan!"

"Well, then," said the desk Sergeant.  "Shall I send a car to pick him up?"

That would be nice," said Miss Kitty.  "You can deliver him to my place.  Tell him we can share some tuna and candlelight tonight."  And with that, she turne and strolled out of the station.

"That's our job, you know," said the Desk Sergeant.  "To protect and serve... tuna."