Monday, August 16, 2010

In the Garden of Witch and Weevil

Ursula, Glenda,

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and Medea are witches.  They have been around for a long time.

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And they are tired of the soggy pathetic produce they get at WitchMart.  It's hard to make a decent potion from limp eyes of newt and moldy bat wings.  And is it really a savings when quality is bad and the workers there don't receive any health benefits?

So this year they decided to grow their own organic witch garden.

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They started as soon as the ground thawed.  They planted night-blooming flowers and succulent pumpkins...

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...adder's fork, blind worm's sting, basil, rosemary, lavender, and tomatoes.  (Why waste all that good tilled soil?)

(Medea would like to correct a misconception about eye of newt and toe of frog and all that Shakespeare silliness.

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The garden newts are used to watch over simmering cauldrons, making sure they don't boil over.  And toads use their toes to stir the brew.)

Frank the Yard Guy was very helpful, especially with the heavy work.  He was actually able to pick up those 200-pound pumpkins.

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His assistant Lenny handled fertilizing and watering.  Lenny is a big believer in bone meal, and believes it to be the perfect fertilizer.

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For pest control, Ursula called on Magee the Owl, who took care of any crop-munching rodents.  Sammy the cat was in charge of tilling the soil, though he had a tendency to confuse it with his familiar litter box.  And E.W. Spider dispatched any insects that messed with the crops.

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Terrell chased off any fairies or pixies who fluttered by to sniff the lavender and pinch the rosemary.  Give a fairy and inch and she'll take your whole crop.

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Of course, Glenda installed a scarecrow to watch over everything.

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By August the garden was thriving, with bounties of herbs and potion ingredients (and all the fixings for a good tomato salad and zucchini bread).

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At last Ursula, Glenda, and Medea could tend to really important issues... like getting their hats ready for the holiday.

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They are confident that you'll all notice that, with their new organic potions, the spells you find around yourself will be of a much higher quality, and they invite you to stop by and sample their wares.

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