Showing posts with label kitty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kitty. Show all posts

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Kitty Sings the Blues

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Saw me a mousie.  Couldn't bite his tail.
Saw me a mousie.  Couldn't bite his his tail.
When I catch that mousie
He'll have gone all stale.

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Tomcat at the window but my mama had me spayed.
Tomcat at the window but my mama had me spayed.
I would bear his kittens
But my fixin's fully paid.

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Want to get some sushi and some sashimi, too.
Want to get some sushi and some sashimi, too.
That's why I snub kibble
And that's why I'm feelin' blue.

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Had a catnip mousie.  Now it's dead and gone.
Had a catnip mousie.  Now it's dead and gone.
Stupid dog just ate it
And that's why I meow this song.

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Had some kitty liter but my mama done changed brands.
Had some kitty littler but my mama done changed brands.
So I peed the sofa.
My mistake's on Mama's hands.

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Lotsa kitty earrings.


Thursday, June 16, 2011

Return of the Betsy Ross Cats

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I'm sure you've heard the story of Betsy Ross and how she sewed the first American flag.  Betsy Ross didn't have the easiest life, by the way.  She was disowned by the Quakers.  Her first husband died in an explosion at the munitions depot he was guarding, her second died in a British prison, and her third was sick for many years. She had seven daughters, two of whom died in infancy.  Throughout it all, she maintained a struggling upholstery business.  What choice did she have?

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One day, in May of 1776, three members of a secret committee from the Continental Congress appeared on her doorstep:  George Washington, Robert Morris, and George Ross.  She was already acquainted with Washington, who sat in the pew beside hers in church.   In fact, she had done some sewing work for him in the past.  And she knew Ross because she had married his nephew, who was now deceased.

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Washington showed Betsy Ross a rough design for the flag they had in mind, which included a six pointed star.  Betsy, who was no slouch with a pair of scissors, showed the men how to cut out a star.  They were impressed enough to entrust her with making the first US flag.

What you probably didn't  know was that Betsy had help.  Feline help.


Sewing a flag by hand is a lot of work.  If you don't believe me, try cutting out a five-pointed star and sewing a star onto your jeans.  Just one.  Go ahead.  Try.  See what I mean?

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And Betsy didn't have much time.  She was on a serious deadline.

That's when the Betsy Ross cats stepped in to help.

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Each night while Betsy slept, the cats worked.  (You wondered what cats did during the night, didn't you?  It's not all mice and lizards, apparently.)  Using their claws, they made all the itty bitty holes Betsy needed for sewing.


They made puncture holes in the stars and the stripes, and the field of blue where the stars would be placed.  

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When Betsy needed to sketch out part of the flag, she used their fallen whiskers to make a brush.  (Cat whiskers, by the way, make superb paint brushes, but it's best to check with your cat first.)


Some of the kitties even gave whiskers to be used for the actual stitching.  And with the cats' help, Betsy completed the flag on time.  In the picture, you can see George Washington eyeing a tuft of cat hair on the flag.  Betsy pretended that she had no idea how it got there.

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The cats later crossed the ocean to assist in making the post French revolution flag.  They and their ancestors have been instrumental in making flags for many other countries, including Cambodia, Costa Rica, Australia, Chile, Croatia, the Czech Republic, Dominican Republic, Iceland, Laos, Luxembourg, Nepal, Netherlands, Norway, Paraguay, Philippines, Panama, Russia, Samoa, Serbia, Slovakia, Slovenia, and Thailand, and even Britain's Union Jack.  (But don't tell Betsy.)

They are commemorated here ~ the unsung (or unmeowed) heroes and heroines behind the flag.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

A Tale of Two Littermates

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Said kitty to his littermate,
"I'm ready for a Twitter date.
I see a critter as my fate...
Someone to share my glitter crate."

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Replied the kitty's littermate,
"Please don't fall for some spitter date
Who drools inside our glitter crate,
Or one who flitters at the gate."

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At last the two fine littermates
Both lined up two twin Twitter dates
They cast their luck to critter fates
For good things comes to those who waits.



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Littermate kitties here and here.

Monday, November 29, 2010

The Purple Picky Kitty Eater

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There was a little kitty cat,
No feline could be sweeter.
She purred and did good cat-like things
But was a picky eater.

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This cat preferred the types of foods
That came in shades of violet
And when fed foods less purple
She would howl and be un-quiolet.

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Blackberries were her entrees
And those 'taters from Peru,
Eggplants, plums and rotkohl
With some boysenberry stew.

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Green beans that were purple,
Plummy basil and some taro,
Which she chased with sun-kissed ripened grapes
That she stole from a sparrow.

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And then one day it came to pass
(As we all feared it would)
She turned a shade of purple
(Though on her it looked quite good.)

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You'll find her on this eyeglass chain
With beads in all her hues.

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Just hope she doesn't change her mind
And switch to foods chartreuse.

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Sunday, November 14, 2010

Matchcats.com

If there were a Match.com for cats, this is what you might see.  (And everyone knows how people fake their photos.  It's no different with cats.)

Tessa

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Tessa likes long walks on the beach in the moonlight (and using it as a litterbox), sharing a fine wine with friends, and laughing.

Zelda

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Zelda is studious.  She's most comfortable with books or discussing books with a like mind. Her favorite novel is "The Great Catsby."

Vanessa

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Vanessa loves to cook and try new recipes.  She has a great sense of humor and collects salt shakers shaped like dogs.

Gilda

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Gilda is a performer at heart.  Her idea of a good time is going to a show and then out dancing until dawn.  She'd like to teach you the Catarena.

Gracie

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Gracie is a fitness buff.  She works out at the kitty gym 8-14 hours a week and can bench press a full-grown mackerel.  She's training for a marathon and looking for a marathon partner.  Is it you?

Sally

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Sally is a film fan.  She thinks a great evening is one spent with a big Manx, watching a romantic film from NetKits.  Her favorite it "From Hairball to Eternity."

You can date all of them here and here.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Kitty's List for Santa

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Dear Santa,

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I have been a good cat this year.  I only torment the dog when he deserves it.  I always fluff the roll of toilet paper in the morning.  And I always go close to the litter box when I have to go.  Please bring me:

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a bale of catnip (preferably organic)
three mousies to chase
five dead mousies to leave on pillows
gift certificate for a sushi meal
a case of cat food in little cans with only the gravy and none of that yucky stuff underneath
a brown paper shopping bag (life hasn't been the same since we went to reusable bags)
a dog's tail, without the dog attached
a bowl shaped like a toilet for my drinking water

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I promise to leave you a bowl of milk and some liver treats when you come.

Love,

Fluffy Muffin

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Fluffy Muffin's bracelet can be found here.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Siamese Cat, Snooze Button Not Included


"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." --Anonymous

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"Cat's Motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it." --Unknown

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"All children left unattended will be given a free kitten." --Sign in a veterinarian's office
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"Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it's the sickening grammar they use." --Mark Twain

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"Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this by all the time they spend on personal grooming. Dogs aren't like this. A dog's idea of personal grooming is to roll in a dead fish." --James Gorman

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"You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?' Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'" --Unknown

"Never feed your cat anything that doesn't match the carpet." --Anonymous

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Pleasing Siamese here.  Not-so-pleasing Siamese are here, too.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Black Cats, Good Luck, and Haiku

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Black cats bring bad luck

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(says the old superstition)

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If you're wearing white.

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Get and eyeful here.

This Little Kitty

This little kitty carved pumpkins.

This little kitty's all done.

This little kitty ate candy corn.

This little kitty ate none.

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This little kitty rode broomsticks.

This little kitty's all black.

This little kitty put mousies

In the trick or treat sack.

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And this little kitty went meow meow meow all the way to the auction.

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Sunday, September 19, 2010

Calico Dreams


If you dream of a calico cat, it signifies luck with friends, both new and old.


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When a calico cat dreams, it's generally about slices of ahi

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or shredding the roll of toilet paper.

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Calico Cat Dreams are here. You can see for yourself. I'm right.

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