Monday, January 3, 2011

The Beads Predict Your Future for 2011

Some throw the I Ching sticks.  Some turn over Tarot cards.  Some gaze into a crystal ball.  Me?  I consult the beads that have fallen to the floor and, based on their configurations, I predict the future.  Prepare yourself to be dazzled and amazed.  (I'm predicting that, too.)

January

A cold man with a heart of ice will have a meltdown in your yard.

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February

You will search for a childhood romance on FaceBook.


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March

You will catch a leprechaun.  He will refuse to divulge the location of his pot of gold, but he'll cheerfully sit down and share a pint with you... as long as you're buying.

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April

If you celebrate Easter, you will find a special Easter egg.  One that was hidden last year. Wear gloves.

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If you celebrate Passover, you will find a special Afikomen.  One that was hidden last year.  Bring the dustpan.

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May

If you go a-Maying, you may not return 'til June-ing.  So bring you cell phone and a change of undies.


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June


You will receive a gift from someone who sells seashells by the seashore... or sand by the desert... or woodchips by the forest.

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July

You will have an explosive encounter with someone from your past.

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August

You will travel to a strange land and encounter an animal heretofore unseen by you.  Or you'll take a trip to the zoo.  In either case, wear sunscreen.

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September

When autumn leaves start to fall, you'll think wistfully about song lyrics.


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October


A voice from the past will haunt you,.  Give him a treat.

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November

No matter what the situation, you will become aware of the many things for which you can be thankful.


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December


If you celebrate Christmas, you would do well to remember where you hid the gifts you purchased in August.

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If you celebrate Hanukkah, expect an unexpected guest on the third night.



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And now that the beads have spoken, they'll roll away once more.

6 comments:

  1. Upon my wrist this beady bling
    With pride and smiles wore.
    When asked, I couldn't help but sing,
    "It came from Eleanor!"

    Jasper, howlite, bits of jade,
    It's really quite a sight!
    And yes it truly is hand made,
    Much to my delight!

    ~SW

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  2. Oh this is a delightful post! So well written and funny - you are a creative guru!!!

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  3. I applaud your creativity! Great predictions Eleanor! Love it!

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