Monday, May 17, 2010

How I Got a Hippo Replacement

How I Got a Hippo Replacement

It all started when I saw this pink hippo, carved out of cat's eye glass.  She was so cool I just had to have her.

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The seller with the hippos sells them in sets of two.  I, of course, wanted four because, well, they're so much fun.  So I bought four.

Then I saw that the seller also had hippos carved of hematite, which gives a lovely gray tone to a piece.

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So I ordered two of those.

And I ordered a couple of cocker spaniels because, well, you never know when you'll need a cocker spaniel.

While I waited for my hippos to arrive, I wandered online a bit, looking for some companions for my hippos-to-be.  I found some little ones of Peruvian clay, with itty bitty details, so I bought four of those.  (Well, I couldn't just get two.  They need choice in their bead box mating rituals.)

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Then I ordered some pewter hippos because I didn't have any.

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And I ordered one silver-plated hippo for the center of the bracelet.

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My hippos all arrived.  I was excited.  I lined up my beads and made a bracelet on which to hang everything.  But when I opened my package of pink hippos, one of them had no legs.  They had shattered at the kneecaps.

I was immediately wary.  While I have no personal knowledge of such things, I read a lot, and from what I had read, this sounded like a mob job.  They shoot kneecaps, don't they?  Is this what had happened to my hippo?  And why?  Had she ratted out another hippo?  Was she on the take?  Had she offended the Godhippo?

My fears were confirmed when I opened the hematite hippos.  One wasn't a hematite hippo at all.  It was a panda bear!

Now I always thought of pandas as gentle creatures, but was it possible that this panda was a mob boss?  Had he ordered the knee-capping of one of my pink hippos?

I quickly isolated the panda, and moved him in with other pandas.  Perhaps in a more familiar setting he wouldn't feel compelled to harm lovely pink hippos.

But what was I to do now?  And then it came to me: I needed a hippo replacement.

The bracelet and earrings went on hold while I contacted my seller.  She was shocked to hear of what happened to one of her family.  And even more shocked to learn that one had turned into a panda.  Is this what beads do instead of sex change operations?

I hoped the panda would find acceptance among the other pandas.  My seller sent me my hippo replacements, and at last it was time to bring them all together.  Picture, if you will, the wedding scene from "The Godfather"... as played out by hippos.

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There is singing and dancing and music.

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Every so often one of the guests slips out for an audience with the Godpanda.

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The other guests pretend not to notice.  And the hippo with the shattered kneecaps sits off to the side, watching the festivities while the children hippos bring her heaping plates of pasta.

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As I may have mentioned, the world of beads is a happy place.

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