The Sad Sad Story of the Princess and the Frog

One upon a time, a beautiful young princess with very bad eyesight went for a walk in the woods, playing with her favorite golden ball.  Her mother the queen called after her to wear her glasses, but the princess pretended that she didn't hear her and tossed her specs into a nearby bush.  What need had she for glasses on a walk in the woods?  When she came to a cool spring, she sat down to rest.  While she sat, she tossed her ball up into the air over and over, catching it as it fell.



But then, she threw it so high that she missed it.  Her depth perception was not very good, either.  The ball hit the ground and rolled until it fell into the spring.  And the spring was so deep that no one, especially the pirncess without her glasses, could see the bottom.  The princess began to weep, offering a plea to anyone who could hear her: "If only I could get my ball back, I would give my fine clothes, my jewels... I would give everything I had in the world."  She cried so hard and so long that her eyes swelled shut so that now, without her glasses and with her boo-hooing, she could see virtually nothing.

While she wept, a frog poked his head out of the water and said, "What is with all this blubbering?  How is a frog supposed to sleep?"

"Alas and boohoo," cried the Princess, squinting in the direction of his voice.  "What can you do you me, you nasty frog?  My golden ball has fallen in the spring."

The frog, who was quite capable of retrieving the ball, thought about her dilemma.  At last he spoke.  "I may be a nasty frog, but I can dive deep into the water.  Retrieving your ball is no problem.  Hovever..." (and here he paused), "I do not want your fine clothes, your jewels.  Instead, you must love me and take me home and let me live with with you and you must reward me with a kiss upon my froggy lips."

The Princess didn't need to think too long about this.  Not only did she not have to give up her fine clothes and jewels... she could easily get her ball back and then outrun the frog.  What, after all, were the odds of an amphibian showing up at the palace?  She quickly agreed.

The frog dived into the spring and soon he emerged with the golden ball, which he bounced to the princess with his froggy nose.

By then the princess had stopped crying for long enough to see the ball.  She leapt up, grabbed it, and headed through the woods doing a broken field run around trees and stumps.  The frog called after her, "Hey!  Wait! We had a deal."

The Princess ignored him and kept running until she reached the palace.

That night, at dinner time, the Princess heard a strange noise - tap, tap - squish, splut, tap, tap, squish, splut - as if someone very wet was slowly coming up the marble staircase.  Soon there was a knock at the door, and an amphibious voice called out,

'Open the door, my princess dear,
Open the door to thy true frog love here!
And mind the words that thou and I said
By the fountain cool, in the greenwood shade.'

The Princess set, who never had retrieved her glasses,  ran to the door.  When she opened it, she saw... nothing.  (I already told you... her glasses were in the bush.)  The frog stood there, quite tired from his trek through the woods.

When he began again, "Open the door, my princess dear..." the Princess slammed the door shut and went back to her dinner..  As she slurped her soup, the King inquired who was at the door.

"Oh, no one," said the Princess.  Again the frog knocked again at the door, and said:
'Open the door, my princess dear,
Open the door to thy true frog love here!
And mind the words that thou and I said
By the fountain cool, in the greenwood shade.'

The King turned to the Princess,  "It sounds to me like you made a promise, and so you must be true to your word.  Open the door and let the frog in."

With a sigh the Princess set down her soup spoon and tromped to the door.  She opened it so that the frog could enter, and stomped back to her soup.  But the frog followed, and hopped right up on the table beside her plate.  In fact, he started to eat off her plate.  When he was finished, the frog said,
"Now I am tired.  If you would be so kind, please carry me to bed and place me upon your pillow."

The princess was none to pleased but her father reminded her that she had given her word and so, with a giant sigh, she took the frog to her bedroom and placed him on her pillow, where he slept beside her.  But when she awoke in the morning, the frog was gone... much to the delight of the Princess.  She insisted that the chambermaid search everywhere but there was no sign of the frog.

Her joy was short-lived, for the next night at dinner, she again heard tap, tap - squish, splut, tap, tap, squish, splut, followed by a knock at the door and the frog's voice:

'Open the door, my princess dear,
Open the door to thy true frog love here!
And mind the words that thou and I said
By the fountain cool, in the greenwood shade.'

Again the Princess opened the door.  Again the frog dined with her and slept with her and slipped away at dawn, and again the chambermaid searched in vain.  The third night, he did the same.  But that morning when the Princess awoke, there was the frog.  This time he said to her, "Now you must kiss me.  When you do, I will be transformed into a handsome prince."  He explained that he was under an enchantment by an evil fairy, who had changed him into a frog until he could be rescued by true love's kiss.

This was starting to sound a bit more appealing to the princess, but she really had no idea what the frog looked like, having spent the last week without her glasses.  So she kissed the bedpost.  She kissed he slippers.  She kissed the royal Basset Hound.  

And then, the chambermaid, who had been watching all along, kissed the frog...

...and he was turned into a handsome prince.   "You," said the prince to the chambermaid, "have broken the cruel spell, and now I have nothing to wish for but that you should go with me into my father's kingdom, where I will marry you, and love you as long as you live."

So while the Princess continued kissing inanimate objects, the chambermaid packed her things and off they went and she lived happily ever after.

The Princess wandered the palace kissing chairs and scepters and aging hunks of venison and the royal Basset Hound.

If only she had a visual reference, perhaps something 3D where she could feel what the frog looked like, she would be living in a palace today, instead of kissing the dog.

Six Swans a-Swimming...

The Six Swans

By the Brothers Grimm and Cornerstoregoddess

Once upon a time, a King, for a set of unusual reasons, agreed to marry a witch’s daughter. Because he didn’t trust her around his seven children (whose origins remain mysterious), he hid them deep in the forest, which would bring social services to his moat door today. His wife had assorted witch powers, handed down through her mother and, for an unusual set of reasons, made six shirts of white silk and sewed a magical charm into each. The next day she paid a visit to the safe castle in the forest.

When the children saw someone approaching, the six boys ran outside, probably bored senseless from being confined to a safe castle. The queen threw the shirts over their heads, which sounds like a potential Olympic event. And, bring magical and all, as soon as the shirts touched their skin, they were turned into swans.

The Queen didn't realize that her husband also had a daughter, who had no doubt stayed inside being responsible. And when she realized her brothers were gone, and possibly swans, she ran set off to rescue them.

After walking miles and furlongs and other units of measure, she came to a small hut. Inside she found six small beds. Taking the tale of the Three Bears to heart, she crawled beneath one and fell asleep. At sunset, she woke to a rustling sound. She peeked out to see six swans fly in the window.The swans then blew (or honked) on each other and their swan skins dropped away, revealing her six brothers.

Her brothers warned her that the hut belonged to vicious robbers who would kill her, and, being unarmed swans, they would be unable to protect her. They could only retain their human form for 15 minutes each night, and then it was back to Swan Lake.

In order to set them free, she would have to take a six year vow of silence. And during that time, she was to sew six shirts of starwort. If she spoke even one word, the spell would never be broken.

With that they turned back into swans and flew out the window.

The sister spent the rest of the night hiding in a tree and wondering how to sew with starwort. By morning she had a plan, and began to gather starwort, and sew.

She did not speak or laugh. She just sewed.

One day, as she sat sewing in her tree, the King of that particular forest was out hunting. He coaxed her down, took her home, and tried to find out who she was and what she was doing. She, of course, did not answer.

The King, touched by her beauty, and perhaps her silence, promptly fell in love with the mysterious maiden. He dressed her up, fed her fabulous meals, dressed her in beautiful clothes, showered her with gifts, and married her. During all that time, she spoke not a word.

The King’s mother was not as smitten as the King. After a year, when the maiden gave birth to her first child, the King’s mother stole the baby and smeared blood on the maiden's face, claiming she had devoured her baby. The King did not believe this and protected his bride, who just kept sewing.

A year later she bore a second child. The King’s mother used the same tactic. But when the third baby disappeared, the King had no choice. She was to be burned at the stake.

Execution day, coincidentally, was the last day of the six years of silence. The shirts were ready, except for one, which was still missing a sleeve. When the maiden was led to the stake, she took the shirts with her. She climbed onto the pile of wood. Just as the fire was about to be lit, she looked up to see six swans flying toward her.

Using a trick similar to that of her father's wife, she threw the shirts to them. As soon as the shirts touched them, their swan feathers fell off and the brothers were returned to their human form. The youngest son, who was hitby the shirt with only one sleeve, had a swan’s wing where his arm should be.

The wept and honked with joy. Finally their sister spoke. She told the King that she was falsely accused, and told him what his mother had done. The wicked mother brought the babies out of hiding. As punishment, she was burned at the stake, which had handily been constructed earlier that day.

But the King and the Queen, and three children, and six brothers went straight into therapy and lived happily ever after… and often went to the lake to feed the swans there. Because sometimes a swan is an ugly duckling, and sometimes it’s your brother, and sometimes it’s just a swan. You never know.

The six swans on this bracelet could be anything.