Once upon a time there was a slacker Easter Bunny who was always bragging about how he was faster than anyone. (He claims that was how he delivered all the eggs while in truth, his wife did all the work.)
And he was always teasing the tortoise for being so slow.
One day the tortoise, with a few drinks under his shell, had had enough. "You think you're so fast," he said, "But I bet I could beat you."
This gave the Easter Bunny a good laugh.
"You? Beat me? Like that's gonna happen," the Easter Bunny said.
This annoyed the tortoise even more.
The tortoise was steaming by now and (rather foolishly) accepted the challenge. A course was mapped out, and the next day at dawn, the tortoise and the Easter Bunny were ready at the starting line.
The Easter Bunny was yawning as the now-sober tortoise started his slow trek along the track. And quite honestly, the Easter Bunny was pretty sleepy, and decided to take a little nap before starting.
“Take your time!” he yelled at the tortoise. “I’ll catch some Zs and catch up with you before you hit the first marker."
Then he closed his eyes and went to sleep. He slept and slept.
Finally he awoke with a start. He looked around, fully expecting to see the tortoise plodding along nearby... and he was.
So the Easter Bunny decided to have some breakfast, and went to find a nearby breakfast burrito. The breakfast burrito, however, made the Easter Bunny sleepy again. So, with a quick glance at the tortoise, the Easter Bunny settled in for a snooze, chuckling about how he'd leave the tortoise in the dust. Soon he was snoring happily.
The sun started to sink slowly in the sky and the tortoise, who had been trucking all day, was within a foot of the finish line. At that moment, the Easter Bunny awoke with a start. He could see the tortoise far off in the distance.
He leapt to his feet and started running as fast as he could, gasping and wheezing. Just a little further and he’d be the first to cross the finish line.
But it was too late. The tortoise had reached the finish line.
"Bummer!" said the tortoise.
“Slowly does it every time!”