Saturday, July 31, 2010

Vendall the Vegetarian Vampire Bat

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Straight from the latest EHAG Emporium, a bracelet of Bats in the Moonlight and the Tale of Vendall the Vegetarian Vampire Bat

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This is the strange tale of a vampire bat
Who wanted to be vegetarian.
Instead of pigs, cows, horses, roosters, and sheep
He vanted a meal less barbarian.

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His brothers and sisters and uncles and aunts
Served up cocktails of hemoglobin
While Vendall the Vampire Bat loudly vowed,
"No blood shall e'er stain my micro- chin!"

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When out in the moonlight his family swooped
To sup on sweet sangre de vaca,
Vendall the Vampire Bat sneered and said,
"That stuff to my tongue tastes like caca!"

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While Grandmother, Grandfather, GreatGrandma, too
Dined out on fat pigs who were snoozin',
Vendall the Vampire Bat said, "No, thanks!"
For fruit smoothies Vendall vas crusin'.

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While they supped on sheep blood and blood of the rooster
Vendall ate mango and guava.
The others drank plasma and chasers of platelets
While Vendall vashed his down with java.

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By vy, Vendall vondered, do I eat like this?
And vy is my family Vampire-ish?
"It's 'cause you're adopted, my son," said his mom.
Asked Vendall, "Does that mean I'm Irish?"

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So Mama Vampire took Vendall aside.
She hung upside down citing stats.
The rest of the family?  Desmodus rotundus.
But Vendall came straight from fruit bats.





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If you're vondering vere you can find this bracelet, it's here.

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