Friday, October 23, 2009

The Truth About Halloween Cats

Gilda is on a mission: to help you understand the truth about Halloween cats.

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Truth 10: Not all Halloween cats are black. This is a myth perpetrated by many Cornerstoregoddess bracelets. (This annoys Gilda no end.) Halloween cats can be black, orange, white, or any combination of these colors.

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Truth 9: Not all Halloween cats ride on broomsticks. It actually makes for balance problems for the witch. It's much like a motorcycle: if the rider in back moves, it affects the balance.

Truth 8: While some Halloween cats have been known to ride on the back of motorcycles, Gilda does not recommend it unless one enjoys spiders in one's whiskers.

Truth 7: Halloween cats do not guard the pumpkin patch. That's your job, foolish mortal!

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Truth 6: True Halloween cats (also known as calico cats) bring good luck.

Truth 5: Halloween, or calico cats are sometimes referred to as money cats. This, according to Gilda, is foolish. Check her out. Does she have any pockets? She rests her case.

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Truth 4: At one point in Japan, Halloween cats were thought to protect sailors on their ships. Gilda says you'd have to gte her on a ship, first.

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Truth 3: On Halloween Eve, Halloween cats gather to make their plans for the day that honors them.

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Truth 2: After a ritual meal of tuna sashimi, they instruct the other creatures of the night as to their Halloween tasks.

Truth 1: When trick-or-treating, it is essential that treats be gathered for the Halloween cats, as well. Objects honoring them count. Like this.

Gilda says, "You have been warned!"

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