Skulls' Night Out

Six skulls were sitting around the graveyard one night, playing poker, and bemoaning the things they had neglected to do and be during their skull careers.


"I was never in a production of Hamlet," lamented one.  "I could have been a contender, instead of a dusty old poker playing skull, which is what I am."

"And I should have been a Grateful Dead skull," complained another.  "Talk about the good life...  Get yourself an old VW van, paint it with flowers, and follow the band around the country.  That's what I should have done."

"Not me," said the third.  "I should have gone in for the pirate's life.  Sure, I know all the lyrics to A Pirate's Life for Me, but, at the time,  it never occurred to me that I would eventually become a symbol for all things pirate.  I wasted the best years of my death!"

"You think you wasted your death?!" retorted the fourth.  "I should have been a biker tattoo for some guy on a big ol' Harley.  I could have hung out on his meaty forearm, defying death...even though I'm like, well... dead."

"Aw, you're all full of dust," remarked the fifth.  "If I had it to do all over again, I'd get on the Día de los Muertos bandwagon.  Be one of those skulls everyone wants  Hang out with all the other skulls.  Everyone brings your flowers and food and presents.

The sixth skull looked at the others through hollow eyes, and then weighed in. "The ultimate," the sixth skull stated, "would be to be the symbol on a poison bottle.  Think about it.  Universally understood, striking fear into the hearts of men everywhere.  A cameo part in It's a Wonderful Life.  Death doesn't get any better than that, my friends."

The skulls sighed, as one, each sure of wasting early years of skullishness.  The first skull absent-minded set down the poker cards and rubbed a nearby tombstone.  Suddenly, in a  flash of light, the Fair Godmother of Skulls appeared.  "I am your Fairy Godmother," she said, "And I am here to grant you one wish."

The skulls started to clamor:

"Keep on truckin'"

"Feliz Dia de los Muertos!"

" Feels like I'm knockin' on heaven's door!"

"Live to ride; ride to live!"

"We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot.  Drink up me 'earties, yo ho!"

"Alas, poor Yorick!"

"Do not induce vomiting!"

"Hold it right there," said the Fairy Godmother.  I didn't mean you each get a wish.  You get one wish for all of you."

The skulls started to confer, then argue, then argue heatedly.  It was only a matter of time before they began to bang heads.  The Fairy Godmother, having seen this behavior before, stepped between them, stopping them instantly.

"Surely there's something all of you wanted to do once upon a time."

They stopped, silenced by her words.  They thought and thought and thought.  But they'd been sitting around the graveyard so long, playing poker and acting tough, that they could no longer remember what they'd missed.  And so their Fairy Godmother decided for them.

"Sure, you could have been tattoos, or symbols... or even pieces of a shrine.  But, really, all that is highly overrated.  When's the last time you had a night out?"

The skulls looked puzzled.

"You know," she said. "Dressing up?  A nice dinner, a show, cocktails, dancing?  What do you say?"

It sounded like the most fun any of the skulls had ever had.  "Then that shall be your wish!" said the Fairy Godmother.  "Go polish your parietal plates and get out your BrightandShinyThings.  You're going out for a night on the town."

And so they found their pearls and their crystals and they sparkled and they glittered.  The skulls got all dolled up and, for one perfect night, they partied like skulls they'd only watched in old films.

And every night after that, when they played Texas Hold 'Em, they remembered that lovely night.  And then they went back to arguing about poison and Harleys and head banging.

And they all died happily ever after.

Day of the Dead on etsy

Day of the Dead on eBay

Skeletons Claim Disco Is Not Dead

Here they are, dancing beneath their own disco ball to such tunes as:

I Shall (Not) Survive!

 

Stayin' Dead

Dance to the Muzak

Really Last Dance

Get Down Tonight (and Stay There)

Dancing skeletons in my etsy shop.

Dancing for the Day of the Dead on a (Nearly) Wordless Wednesday

(Mine, which are easier to wear, can be found on etsy.)

Day After Halloween

by Shel Silverstein





Skeletons, spirits and haunts,
Skeletons, spirits and haunts.
It's a Halloween sale:
A nickel a pail
For skeletons, spirits and haunts.






Skeletons, spirits and haunts,
More than most anyone wants.
Will you pay for a shock,
'Cause we're quite overstocked
On skeletons, spirits and haunts.





Skeletons, spirits, and haunts here.

Have a Greeny Halloweeny

Frankenstein's green.
Dracula's blue.
Can ghosts be white
If you see them clear through?




Most jack o' lanterns
Are first pumpkins orange.
As pump-lets they're green,
Then develop some more tinge.




Black owls are black.
So are black bats.
But witches on broomsticks
Want black balanced cats.

Spiders are green
And yellow and brown.
The black and bright red one's
One of great renown.




Candy corn's orange
And yellow and white
And tastes pretty awful
'Til Halloween night.

Witches display
In a whole range of hues.
Being bewtitching
Each witch gets to choose.




Skeleton bones:
Shades of gray, yellow, white.
Some even show as
Glow-in-the-dark-night.



This Halloween bracelet
Was made multi-color
Because if it weren't
It would be multi-duller.

Haunted High School Reunion

Back the old days, at Haunted High School, Frankie and Wanda were an item. 



(That's Wanda on the right, wearing the black hat.  Isn't her green nose divine?  Frankie always thought so.  He never really got over her.)

And that's Frankie.  True blue.  He stopped wearing his retainer as soon as he moved out of his parents' house.


Jack was always the class clown and Boo was his faithful sidekick.  The two of them never really grew up.


Vin was the one who always wanted to play in a band...



... and was never seen without his glow-in-the-dark drumsticks. 



He had a couple of hits and then was never heard from again.  Rumor has it he works at a Jack in the Coffin out in the valley.  But he still carries his glow-in-the-darks everywhere he goes.

And everyone remembers Molly, who was going to write great whoo-done-its...



She published a couple with a vanity press.  Now she's got a new ebook out.  It's available on Kindle, though Molly gets less for each sale.

Then there was Fritz, who napped through all his classes, but was always first in line in the cafeteris on fish sticks day...



...and Bertie (on the right), who became a vegan long before it was fashionable. 



They all found each other on FaceBoo a while back, and started emailing back and forth.  They decided they'd hold a reunion (though they prefer not to state in which yeat they graduated.) 

Organizing the reunion was a nightmare.  Finally Agatha arranged transportation, as they were all over the country.  She runs a limo broom service. 



Bert handled security.  He used to work for the Scarecrow PD, but now that he's older, he's a security guard at a retirement pumpkin patch.



Barry did all the floral arrangements.  He wanted everything to look festive, just as it had at their prom years earlier.  There were corsages for all the females, boutonnieres for the gentlemen, and dried up petals for the departed.



It was a spectacular event.  Everyone showed up.  Even the unpopular pumpkin everyone used to make fun of.   They partied deep into the night... and the next night... and the next.  In fact, they're still celebrating.  It helps to be un-dead.  They've decided to do this every year, around this time.  They'll have to head home eventually, to prepare for Halloween, but for now, they're all here.  So enjoy.



Skippy was in charge of souvenir bracelets, but she got busy dancing and only made one, so here it is.