Drink Up, Me Hearties, Yo Ho

In case you were wondering what all those pirates are singing on "Pirates of the Caribbean," wonder no more!  Lyrics and a lyrical bracelet.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We pillage plunder, we rifle and loot.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

 

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We extort and pilfer, we filch and sack.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle and even hijack.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

 

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We kindle and char and inflame and ignite.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city; we're really a fright.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

 

We're rascals and scoundrels, we're villians and knaves.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
We're devils and black sheep, we're really bad eggs.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
 

We're beggars and blighters and ne'er do-well cads,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.

We like to wear bracelets with charms and with beads,

Bling up, me 'earties, yo ho,

We list all those baubles and bangles and such
As high priority needs!

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me. 

Okay.  I admit it.  The pirates don't sing that verse.

Leprechauns: Magic or Blarney?

The most infamous in the Irish parade of characters is the leprechaun.  But who this little man, clothed in green?

Height: 2 feet
Eyes: Twinkling
Cheeks: Rosy
Appearance: Friendly
Occupation: Shoemaker
Hobbies: Drinking, Deception, Counting Gold, Pipe Smoking, Dipping Snuff

These unfriendly little fairies aren't easy to spot.  They spend their days making shoes and their nights drinking.  They stash all their earnings in a pot of gold at the rainbow's end.

You've all heard of the pot of gold.  But how to find it?  The only way is to follow the sound of a leprechaun hammering shoes. When you find the leprechaun, catch him, and he must promise to take you to his pot of gold.  But you can't let him out of your sight.

For leprechauns are tricksters, and have many was to make you look away.

Then, in the twinkling of an eye, they are gone.

And you are, of course, without your pot of gold.

Leprechaun by Colin Chapman
Lucky Leprechaun Bracelet by Cornerstoregoddess

'Twas Three Weeks Before Christmas

'Twas Three Weeks Before Christmas and within our fine house,
I looked all around and remarked to my spouse
Shouldn't a house, at this time of December
Have a lit tree that we all will remember?

Out to the car he went in a hurry,
Eyebrows both raised, and his face full of worry.
Seems that our storage place, so he'd been told
Had been victim to rats, moths, ants, rot, and mold.



Sure enough, the treetop angel'd been mauled.
Thanks to the rodents, the poor thing was bald.
As for the strings of the gold twinkling lights?
Their cords were all covered with tiny rat bites.

Santa was missing his hat and his beard
And of the eight reindeer, at least six looked weird.
Frosty was missing his wee Meerschaum pipe
And his poor back was sporting a suspicious stripe.



All of our treasures and tree-topping splendors
Looked like they'd been maimed by overwrought blenders.
Each little elf we'd collected each year
Now, like VanGogh, was each missing one ear.

How could the holidays be celebrated
Now that our ornaments were desecrated?
Those angels we heard on high would be waylaid
And merry gentlemen would be dismayed!



What would we do with our sad decoration?
Throwing the towel in was a temptation.
How to be festive without our decor
Left us all mulling our woes on the floor.



All our cats stopped by, along with the dog
Who quickly reacted to our depressed fog.
Seeing our sadness and woeful demeanor
He ran off and fetched us his best squeaky wiener.

He then brought his Kong toy, aglow with dog spit,
And his fleecy giraffe and his plushie Brad Pitt,
His greenies and frisbee and best NylaBone,
All heavily scented with doggie cologne.



He brought out his Bobalot and plush Lambchop
(Which was covered in dust and used as a doorstop.)
He brought us his rope and his football for bowser,
Swiped at the dog park from an aging Schnauzer.

Next came his tennis ball, chewed to a flap
Which he gave a last nip and then dropped in my lap.
Some milk bones, a corn cob, a pig's ear half-chewed
And an old chewie postman who'd been chewed half-nude.



Not to be outdone, the cats then insisted
On bringing us toys that had long been black-listed.
Out came their treasures: the pink catnip mouse,
And each jingly ball we'd thought lost in the house,

The feather that dangled from a bamboo stick,
The old Easter bunny and old Easter chick,
The soiled ping-pong balls and the rat that went "squeak,"
And the soft snuggly bed with the soft snuggly leak.



And so, all these toys from the cats and the dog
We hung on the tree as we burned a Yule log.
The chew-up, the drooled on, the past sell-by dated
Were our decorations, and thus it was fated.

As for the icicles, dogs just don't care.
So instead of tinsel we used some dog hair.
The tree stood before us, adorned and unique
Though not one you'd see in a classy boutique.



Then laying a paw, aside of his nose,
The dog circled twice and started to doze.
But the cats all exclaimed (as they gave him a bite),
"Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!"




If you want a bracelet for your Christmas treasure,
Please come and bid and bid more, at your leisure.

The Month Before Christmas

'Twas the month before Christmas and all through the house
"Preps haven't been started!" Mom started to grouse.
"We don't have a tree and the lights are all knotted
And the market eggnog is sugary and clotted."



The stockings, when pulled from ye old Public Storage
Were eaten by moths who mistook them for porridge.
Each embroidered name was now just tattered threads.
The reindeer that graced them had all lost their heads.



The Christmas tree lot was a Jack in the Box
With service by teens sporting bright green mohawks.
A search for a lot using mobile phone apps
Left Mom's aging eyeballs about to collapse.



Then lo and behold, when a new lot was sighted,
We knew in an instance our purchase was blighted.
The helpers were fighting with roaring chainsaws -
Enough to give even the bold buyer pause.

Their eyes, how they twinkled!  Their do-rags?  How merry!
Their screams and their grunts and their snarls were too scary.



So off to the Y lot?  Expensive.  Absurd!
We drove to Home Depot along with the herd.
But the tree wouldn't fit in the back or the trunk
 So had to get help from the parking lot drunk.

He helped us attach our fine tree to the rack
With string that he'd squirreled away in his sack,
Mom slipped him a ten dollar bill as his pay -
Enough to go buy him a fine Chardonnay.



And finally home, with our tree and our treasures,
We started on our Christmas pet-proofing measures.



(to be continued with the next Christmas bracelet)

This bracelet's right here, and it's on as an auction.
It's jammed full of charms - a right jolly concoction.

Stuffed Up with Muffins and Much Too Much Stuffin'

Ate Too Much Turkey

By Jack Prelutsky

 

I ate too much turkey,

I ate too much corn,
I ate too much pudding and pie,

I'm stuffed up with muffins
and much too much stuffin',
I'm probably going to die.

I piled up my plate
and I ate and I ate,

but I wish I had known when to stop,
for I'm so crammed with yams,
sauces, gravies, and jams

that my buttons are starting to pop.

I'm full of tomatoes
and french fried potatoes,
my stomach is swollen and sore,
but there's still some dessert,
so I guess it won't hurt
if I eat just a little bit more.

 

Brightandshinythings for the season.

 

More Than a Day

 More Than A Dayby Karl Fuchs   As Thanksgiving Day rolls around,
It brings up some facts, quite profound. 
We may think that we're poor,
Feel like bums, insecure,
But in truth, our riches astound.  We have friends and family we love;
We have guidance from heaven above. 
We have so much more
Than they sell in a store,
We're wealthy, when push comes to shove.So add up your blessings, I say; 
Make Thanksgiving last more than a day.
Enjoy what you've got;
Realize it's a lot,
And you'll make all your cares go away.   A bracelet to celebrate the season.