'Twas the Night Before Christmas

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

by Clement Moore

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.

(Yes, I know they're eggplants... but wouldn't they make good sugar plums??)

And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,

With the sleigh full of Toys, and St Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.

A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

Christmas BrightandShinyThings on etsy and eBay.

Santa Got Stuck in the Chimney

by Kenn Nesbitt

Poor Santa got stuck in our chimney.
I know it sounds weird, but it's true.
His feet made it down, but his belly
was one size too large for the flue.

His reindeer are up on our rooftop.
His sleigh is still loaded with toys.
And Santa, that kindly old fellow,
is making a whole lot of noise.

We called the police and the sheriff.
They showed up with ladders and cranes.
They brought all their winches and pulleys,
plus bungee cords, cables and chains.

They're working right now to remove him
by hoisting him slowly back out.
It might take all morning, for Santa
is more than a little bit stout.
 

If you don't have presents this morning,
we're sorry you're having to wait.
But Santa's still stuck in our chimney.
He may be a day or two late.

Until then, please hide all your cookies.
Though Santa may find this severe,
at least then he'll fit down the chimney
when he comes on Christmas next year.

 Christmas BrightandShinyThings here and here.

That Rudolph

You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen,
Comet and Cupid and Donder and Blitzen.
But do you recall
The most famous reindeer of all?

Well, yeah.  Of course you do.  Old Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer has been sung about and has popped up on TV specials and lunchboxes and decorations since 1939, when he was the character in a book written by Robert L. May and published my Montgomery Ward, which gave it away as a free coloring book.  In its first year of publication, 2.4 million copies of Rudolph's story were distributed.  Rudolph gained further fame in the Johnny Marks song, written in 1949, and made famous by Gene Autry.

What the song, and the holiday specials, and Mr. May didn't mention wad that Rudolph was a klutz.  Yep.  Four left feet.  Mr. Uncoordination.  Known to his friends as "LookoutherecomesRudolph!"



Here you see him crashing through a Christmas tree.

Remember the song, "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer"?  Guess which reindeer was responsible.  None other than Rudolph.



Do you recall the story of "Olive, the Other Reindeer"?  She was actually a dog, but when she went to help Santa, escaping an irate postal employee, Rudolph smashed into her on the ice skating pond and sent her across the ice like a hockey puck.




Sure, he looks all graceful flying through the sky.  There's nothing to bump into up there, except the moon, and even nearsighted Santa can see that when they're heading straight for a lunar landing.  It's on the ground that Rudolph's a menace.

That's why all of the other reindeer give him a wide berth when he's landlocked.



They tried putting bumpers on him, but that just enabled Rudolph to crash into a wider path of objects.



Finally the bruised and battered reindeer scheduled an intervention and attempted to get at the cause of Rudolph's problem.  They all chipped in for a good therapist, who helped Rudolph work through some difficult childhood memories.



And what Rudolph finally realized was that, as a young reindeer, in all the hustle and bustle at the North Pole, the only way he got any attention from the elves in the off-season was by accidentally injuring himself and others.

This discovery really opened Rudolph's eyes.  And from that day forward, well, he kept running into things, but at least now he knew why.  That's how therapy works.



The reindeer on the bracelet are shown trying to keep out of Rudolph's path.  No one needs a stubbed hoof or a sprained antler right before Christmas.

Here Comes Santa Penguin

Did you ever wonder who brings presents to all the good penguin girls and boys?  It's these two Santa Penguins, who hail from a small coastal village in Argentina.  With their very talented seal helpers, they make toys for the good little penguins of the world.  Then, on Christmas night, they belly-surf around the world delivering tasty fish snacks, soccer balls of ice, and floaties to penguins from Antarctica to Africa.

The earrings can be found here. The penguins, on the other hand, are quite busy right now

The Month Before Christmas

'Twas the month before Christmas and all through the house
"Preps haven't been started!" Mom started to grouse.
"We don't have a tree and the lights are all knotted
And the market eggnog is sugary and clotted."



The stockings, when pulled from ye old Public Storage
Were eaten by moths who mistook them for porridge.
Each embroidered name was now just tattered threads.
The reindeer that graced them had all lost their heads.



The Christmas tree lot was a Jack in the Box
With service by teens sporting bright green mohawks.
A search for a lot using mobile phone apps
Left Mom's aging eyeballs about to collapse.



Then lo and behold, when a new lot was sighted,
We knew in an instance our purchase was blighted.
The helpers were fighting with roaring chainsaws -
Enough to give even the bold buyer pause.

Their eyes, how they twinkled!  Their do-rags?  How merry!
Their screams and their grunts and their snarls were too scary.



So off to the Y lot?  Expensive.  Absurd!
We drove to Home Depot along with the herd.
But the tree wouldn't fit in the back or the trunk
 So had to get help from the parking lot drunk.

He helped us attach our fine tree to the rack
With string that he'd squirreled away in his sack,
Mom slipped him a ten dollar bill as his pay -
Enough to go buy him a fine Chardonnay.



And finally home, with our tree and our treasures,
We started on our Christmas pet-proofing measures.



(to be continued with the next Christmas bracelet)

This bracelet's right here, and it's on as an auction.
It's jammed full of charms - a right jolly concoction.

One Little Christmas Tree

One little Christmas tree to mark your book.

Here Comes Santa Cat

Here comes Santa Cat,
Here comes Santa Cat,
Right down Santa Cat Lane,
Clausie and all kinds of mousies,
Pullin' on the reins.
Bells are ringin', kitties singin',
All is merry and bright.
So put out your dishes and say your meows,
'Cause Santa Cat comes tonight.



Here comes Santa Cat,
Here comes Santa Cat,
Right down Santa Cat Lane,
He's got a bag that's filled with cat toys
For kittens again.
Hear those collar bells jingle jangle,
Oh what a beautiful sight,
So jump on the sofa, and cover your hairballs,
'Cause Santa Cat comes tonight.

The Haunted Christmas Tree Forest

Did you ever wonder where those Christmas trees go when they've dropped their last needles and and gone crispy?  Sure, you put them out for the recycling truck.  But where do they really go?  The Haunted Christmas Tree Forest.  



Maintained by three ghosts, 



it stands tall, proud, and, well... ghostly all year round.  The ghosts of Christmas Past and Christmas Present
are always there to comment on the past and present.  The Ghost of Christmas Future is expected any day now, and the caretaker ghosts have decorated with all sorts of ghostly floral arrangements amongst the trees.  

You can meet with the ghosts here.