Attack of the Zombie Snowpersons!

You thought they were snowmen, didn't you?  Jolly happy souls, made of snow, who occasionally came to life.

And sure, some of those snowmen and snow-women you see are the jolly happy souls.

Then there are... the Un Dead.  The snowpeeps who are no longer among the living, who search for brains, who lose limbs and don't seem to notice or care.

Try the zombie checklist:

• Snowman zombies are undead. This means they used to be dead, but are somehow reanimated .

• Zombies don't walk.  They shuffle, slide, and roll. 

• Zombies generally have their arms outstretched.

• Zombies don't talk.  They do make sounds -- usually something like "Aaaaaangh!" or "Braiiiiiiiiiins!"

• Zombies wear dirty torn clothes, if they wear any clothes at all... like a castaway muffler or an old hat.

• Zombies are usually covered in blood.  Snowman zombies, having different circulatory systems and different eating habits, are covered in, well, snow.

• Zombies look like they're sick.  You know - kind of bloated, with little body definition.

• Zombies have dead expressions and vacant stares.  Their eyes might as well be two lumps of Kingsford charcoal.

• Zombies crave brains.  What do you think these are carrying in their hands?

• Zombies will get up after you run them over with your car.

 So what to do in case you meet up with a snowman zombie?

Best case scenario: Avoid the zombie in question. Failing that:

• Some say decapitation works best and will stop a zombie in his tracks.

• Cutting a zombie  into tiny pieces with some sort of chainsaw works, but in the case of snow and electrical chainsaws there can be electrocution problems.  A snow shovel should do the trick.

•  Hairdryer.

In any event, exercise caution and stay as far from the zombie snowperson as possible.  The further you are, the less likely you are to have an arm or leg ripped off your body.

Zombies will lunge at you if they think they have an open shot at your brains.  And on that subject, it is best to keep your head and brains covered.

The zombie snowmen in these earrings will actually protect you.  You see, each one is already carrying a brain.  So they won't need yours.  If other zombie snowmen see them, they will think the brains are YOUR brains, and move on to someone else.

These protection zombie snowmen are available on etsy.  Can you afford to be without them?

Fred the Zombie

Fred the Zombie

Fred the Zombie is one of the lampwork un-dead.  He likes walks on the beach, eating brains, and dancing like no one's watching.  

Fred can be found here.

Attack of the Zombie Snowmen!

If you are unlucky enough to find yourself at ground zero on Snowman Z-Day, the following survival tips may increase your chances of staying alive.

Always Aim For The Head

A sure fire way to put down a Zombie snowman permanently is to destroy the brain.



When choosing a weapon, fight the urge to get a gun only designed to impress your friends or one that's too heavy.  A blow-dryer is good. 

A cordless blow-dryer is even better.

Stay Away From Windows

So you have found some shelter and your fellow survivors are discussing what to do next. Don't stand next to the idiot standing with his back to the unsecured window.

Run!

If you can't run, consider using a toboggan...


And keep in mind... zombie snowmen aren't very fast, due to their lack of legs.

Hit The Road

Fact: Zombie snowmen like the city.  There's more to see there and more people to eat.



As soon as you think something strange might be happening,  pack up and move to the countryside. Find a nice field.  Avoid forests.  Zombie snowmen love to sneak up on victims in the forest.  Now... become a farmer and wait for it all to blow over.

Never say 'I'll be right back'

The first person to say 'I'll be right back' always gets eaten. Keep your wits about you, stay with other people and if you find yourself alone – find someone! Remember the saying safety in numbers? Just check they aren't already zombies.

Act like a Zombie Snowman

A very cunning way to avoid being eaten by a Zombie snowman is to act like one yourself! The vacant stare, drooling an incoherent mumbling will make you fit in with any real zombie snowmen that break into your home.

Decapitate

Decapitation is another sure fire way to kill a Zombie snowman.

Get Creative

So you ran out of battery power on your blow dryer?  It's time to get creative. Anything that generates heat is effective.

Don't Be A Hero

A good way to survive zombie snowman attacks is to give them something else to chase down and eat – your friends. If you're in a crowd of people, stand in the middle. Just remember it's better to come up with the ideas and lead the group than to just be a follower. It's the person at the back of the group during chase scenes that gets eaten first.

If You Get Bitten Keep It A Secret

So while fighting off that last wave of the undead snowmen with your bare hands, you took one for the team. Luckily for you it was somewhere easy to conceal. It's only a flesh wound.

Wait Until The Whole Thing Blows Over

Lock the doors, build a fire in the hearth, and wait for it to all blow over.



Thanks to blurtit.com  for the zombie tips.

And mosey over here for your very own zombie snowman bracelet or earrings.

A Werewolf, a Ghoul, and a Vampire

by Shel Silverstein



Settin’ ‘round the campfire
With a Werewolf, a Ghoul, and a Vampire,
I told ‘em the story of Murderin’ Mack,
And the Ghoul ran off screamin’
And never came back.



Settin’ ‘round the campfire
With the Werewolf and the Vampire,
I told ‘em the tale of Three-Headed Ed,
And the Werewolf ran home
And hid under the bed.




Settin’ ‘round the campfire,
Just me and that ol’ Vampire,
I read him the poem of the skeleton bone,
And now it’s just me,
Settin’ here all alone.



The ghoul is hiding here.