Showing posts with label vampire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vampire. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Tell Them Boris Sent You



with lyrics by Bobby "Boris" Pickett



I was working in the lab, late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab, began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise


He did the mash, he did the monster mash
The monster mash, it was a graveyard smash
He did the mash, it caught on in a flash
He did the mash, he did the monster mash


From my laboratory in the castle east
To the master bedroom where the vampires feast
The ghouls all came from their humble abodes
To get a jolt from my electrodes

They did the mash, they did the monster mash
The monster mash, it was a graveyard smash
They did the mash, it caught on in a flash
They did the mash, they did the monster mash


The zombies were having fun
The party had just begun
The guests included Wolfman,
Dracula, and his son

The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds
Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds
The coffin-bangers were about to arrive
With their vocal group, 'The Crypt-Kicker Five'


They played the mash, they played the monster mash
The monster mash, it was a graveyard smash
They played the mash, it caught on in a flash
They played the mash, they played the monster mash

Out from his coffin, Drac's voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
Opened the lid and shook his fist and said
"Whatever happened to my Transylvania Twist? "


It's now the mash, it's now the monster mash
The monster mash, it was graveyard smash
It's now the mash, it caught on in a flash
It's now the mash, it's now the monster mash

Now everything's cool, Drac's a part of the band
And my Monster Mash is the hit of the land
For you, the living, this mash was meant too
When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you


Then you can mash, then you can monster mash
The monster mash, and do my graveyard smash
Then you can mash, you'll catch on in a flash
Then you can mash, then you can monster mash


Bracelet available on etsy.

Monday, October 18, 2010

A Few Favorite Halloweeny Things

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To be sung to the tune of "These Are a Few of My Favorite Things"

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(but with an attitude)

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Black cats and spider and skulls that are haunting,
Witches on broomsticks and hats that they're flaunting,
Night creatures swooping on dark silent wings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

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Skeletons dancing a wild monster mashing,
Daytime vampires who spend their nights flashing,
Fat jack o' lanterns about whom we sings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

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Spiders with eight legs and skulls who have no legs,
Cool pirate costumes pretending with leg-pegs,
Candy corn, apples, and Halloween blings,

These are a few of my favorite things.

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Ghosts wearing white sheets just reeking of Clorox,
Witches who'd benefit from bits of Botox,
Ghoulishly gleefully flapping owl wings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

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Witches with cauldrons and hats that are point-ly,
Spiders who weave webs they inhabit jointly,
Pumpkins with candles and smells that that brings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

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When the owl hoots
And eyes green newts
And the meals he's had
I simply remember these spookified things
Of Halloweens that we've had.

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You can get spookified here.

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Everything but the kitchen cauldron...

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Monday, September 27, 2010

The Ghouish Costume Ball

Once upon a Hallow's Eve
Years ago, I do believe,
All the creatures green and ghoulish
Wanted to try something coolish.

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If the humans, fat or tall
Could dress any way at all,
Why couldn't the bats and witches
Pull off some sartorial switches?

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So they planned and sketched designs
For their 31st deadlines.
Each ghoul planned his own costume
For the Goblin's Grand Ballroom.

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Bat was first, dressed as a spider
(Though his butt was a bit wider.)
Ghost dressed as a candy corn ~
The first corn to transport airborne.

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Skeletons dressed as warty hags,
Zombies draped in sequined rags,
Black cats came as bandaged mummies,
Werewolves dressed as pirate rummies.

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Frankenstein came as a goblin
Who excelled at apple bobblin'.
Creature from the Black Lagoon
Swaddled in alien's cocoon.

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Wolfman was a chic vampire
In his girlfriend's goth attire.
Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde
Showed up as the Corpse's Bride.

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Creatures from each rank and phylum
Danced at this costumed asylum.
When they'd done all they'd desired,
They hit the coffins... and retired.

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A souvenir bracelet of the event.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

A Werewolf, a Ghoul, and a Vampire

by Shel Silverstein

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Settin’ ‘round the campfire
With a Werewolf, a Ghoul, and a Vampire,
I told ‘em the story of Murderin’ Mack,
And the Ghoul ran off screamin’
And never came back.

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Settin’ ‘round the campfire
With the Werewolf and the Vampire,
I told ‘em the tale of Three-Headed Ed,
And the Werewolf ran home
And hid under the bed.

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Settin’ ‘round the campfire,
Just me and that ol’ Vampire,
I read him the poem of the skeleton bone,
And now it’s just me,
Settin’ here all alone.

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The ghoul is hiding here.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Halloween Party Tips from Vladimir the Vampire

Vladimir is vorld-renowned for his food blog and writes an entertainment column for the Transylvania Times.  He also appears in Vittles Vith Vladimr.  Here are some of Vladimir's tips for your Halloween party.

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1.  Choose pumpkins visely.  Assorted sizes vork nicely for decoration purposes.  Leave some uncut for pie, vhich goes nicely with Type O Cocktails.

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2.  Encourage the spiders to start spinning vebs.  If you plan ahead, you can use some of those vebs as seating for your guests.

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3.  Choosing a DJ who is also a dance instructor vill get your guests moving.

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4.  Skulls are useful for flower arrangements.  Don't forget the eye sockets!

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5.  Have a hat rack or closet where guests can leave unvanted pieces of their costumes.  Some guests vork vell as hat racks.

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6.  Your guest list should include both the living and the departed.  A quick bite from Vladimir can change one into another.

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7.  Delegate, delegate, delegate.  Have a friend vith a special potion recipe?  Encourage her to vhip some up.

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8.  Worried about guests leaving plates of food around?  Make sure you invite some hungry cats to take care of those annoying leftovers.

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9.  Don't fuss over lighting.  Most of your guests vill prefer low-light situations.

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Vatch this space for more party tips from Vladimir!