Everything You Wanted to Know About Goblins But Were Afraid to Ask Revisited

Earlier posts have discussed witches and ghosts at great length.  This has caused some grumbling in the goblin community, though their frustration might be due to the fact that the Goblin Fan Club page on FaceBook has only 5 members.

Nonetheless, the Goblin Lobby has demanded equal time so, with the latest Halloween bracelet, here are some goblin facts to assist you in goblin-proofing your home.

The goblin images below, btw, are courtesy of Arthur Siderwick's Field Guide and Tony DeTerlizzi's Imaginopolis Blog.

Now gather near to better learn

A useful thing or three

Of goblin facts, assuredly

Not learned at mother's knee.

The goblin's a small critter

With a head both large and wide

Which is why, with narrow spaces,

Oft' a goblin's trapped inside.

The goblins love to sing aloud

Karaoke, a capella

With words so vile they're known to shame

The most foul mouth-ed fella.

They're bad at consequences,

Never thinking things quite through

Which is why they'll hide in ovens

And emerge as goblin stew.

The goblins are dog-haters

Fearing canines and moreover

You will never find a goblin child

Named Fido, Spot, or Rover.

And, in case you're wondering

About their fear of horses,

Well, horses stomp on goblins

Causing pain and woe, of courses.

Garbage dumps and gutters,

Junk yards, soggy sewers

Are favorite haunts of goblins

Who make refuse into skewers.

As far as meals and eating

It's said goblins are voracious.

And despite their tiny frames

Their stomachs are capacious.

The goblin's love of fire

Earns the label: pyromaniac.

The fact they'll torch their own homes

Makes them lose the label: brainiac.

The goblins believe writing

Is a way to steal their souls

And thus the public library

Belongs, instead, to trolls.

So watch out for the woodpile,

The thistle patch, rain barrel,

The chicken coop, the oven

To avoid the Goblin peril.

See Tony DeTerlizzi's Imaginopolis Blog for more on goblins.  Ten Fun Facts About Goblins can be found here.

Goblins, ghouls, and ghosts on eBay and etsy.

Haunted

by Shel Silverstein



I dare you all to go into
The Haunted House on Howlin’ Hill,
Where squiggly things with yellow eyes
Peek past the wormy window sill.



We’ll creep into the moonlit yard,
Where weeds reach out like fingers,
And through the rotted old front door
A-squeakin’ on it hinges,
Down the dark and whisperin’ hall,
Past the musty study,
Up the windin’ staircase--
Don’t step on the step that’s bloody--



Through the secret panel
To the bedroom where we’ll slide in
To the ragged cobweb dusty bed
Ten people must have died in.




And the bats will screech,
And the spirits will scream,
And the thunder will crash
Like a horrible dream,
And we’ll sing with the zombies
And dance with the dead.




And howl at the ghost
With the axe in his head,
And--come to think of it what do you say
We go get some ice cream instead?

Ghosties and goblins and no ice cream here.