Fifteen Things You Probably Didn't Know About the Ocean

Children Writing About the Ocean. 

1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6) 

2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6) 

3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Mike, age 7) 

4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily 
Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6) 

5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8) 

6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6) 

7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7) 

8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6) 

9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6) 

10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7) 

11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6) 

12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8) 

13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7) 

14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6) 

15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

Some beadie thoughts on the ocean can be found on etsy.

5 Surefire Ways to Be Safe at Sea

Planning a cruise? A boating adventure?  A triathlon? Don't worry.  Here are some good luck omens for the briny deep.

1.  Dolphins swimming with the ship are a sign of good luck.

Dolphins are considered a sacred friend of fishermen, they have the good fortunes of man in mind and their presence indicates that you are under their protection.

2.  Black cats are considered good luck and will bring a sailor home from the sea.

While black is the color of death, and black bags or clothing are harbingers of doom, black cats are considered lucky on the sea. 

3.  Doves seen at sea are a good sign.

Doves are a land based bird and seeing them at sea implies that land is near and your prospects are clear.

 
4.  Seeing a sea turtle swimming alongside the ship is a sign of good luck.

The Sea Turtle, or Honu, is one of the oldest species in the world and because of that every culture seems to have a history that includes them. Even more special is that the theme around the Sea Turtle is always a positive one; the sea turtle is the ultimate navigator.  In addition, he is said to being prosperity, good luck, wisdom, and longevity.

5.  Chalcedony provides protection against drowning. 

Chalcedony combats negative magic of all kinds. It has the power to inspire confidence, soothing depression and a troubled mind, and ease bad dreams. As a symbol of the moon, it has strong connections to water, and can be used as a protection against drowning. Travelers will also benefit from the stone, especially if they travel over water.  

These various methods of protection can be found in both my eBay and etsy stores.

P.S.

A dog seen near fishing tackle is considered bad luck.

 
 So keep the dog separate from your Fishin' Magician.

Under the Sea, Sung and Danced by the Charms

Howard Ashman, Alan Menken. From the movie "Little Mermaid"

The seaweed is always greener
In somebody else's lake
You dream about going up there
But that is a big mistake
Just look at the world around you
Right here on the ocean floor
Such wonderful things surround you
What more is you lookin' for?

Under the sea
Under the sea
Darling it's better
Down where it's wetter
Take it from me

Up on the shore they work all day
Out in the sun they slave away
While we devotin'
Full time to floatin'
Under the sea

Down here all the fish is happy
As off through the waves they roll
The fish on the land ain't happy
They sad 'cause they in their bowl

But fish in the bowl is lucky
They in for a worser fate
One day when the boss get hungry
Guess who's gon' be on the plate

Under the sea
Under the sea
Nobody beat us
Fry us and eat us
In fricassee

We what the land folks loves to cook
Under the sea we off the hook
We got no troubles
Life is the bubbles
Under the sea
Under the sea

Since life is sweet here
We got the beat here
Naturally
Even the sturgeon an' the ray
They get the urge 'n' start to play
We got the spirit
You got to hear it
Under the sea

The newt play the flute
The carp play the harp
The plaice play the bass
And they soundin' sharp

The bass play the brass
The chub play the tub
The fluke is the duke of soul
(Yeah)

The ray he can play
The lings on the strings
The trout rockin' out
The blackfish she sings
The smelt and the sprat
They know where it's at
An' oh that blowfish blow

Under the sea
Under the sea
When the sardine
Begin the beguine
It's music to me

What do they got? A lot of sand
We got a hot crustacean band
Each little clam here
know how to jam here
Under the sea

Each little slug here
Cuttin' a rug here
Under the sea
Each little snail here
Know how to wail here
That's why it's hotter
Under the water
Ya we in luck here
Down in the muck here
Under the sea

Sing along with the charms here and here.

Kind of On Porpoise

THE PORPOISE

by Ogden Nash

I kind of like the playful porpoise,

A healthy mind in a healthy corpus.

He and his cousin, the playful dolphin,

Why they like swimmin like I like golphin.




A porpoise... a dolphin... it's whatever you want it to be.

When the Sardine Begin the Beguine

Remember the song "Under the Sea" from The Little Mermaid?  You know...

The newt play the flute
The carp play the harp
The plaice play the bass
And they're soundin' sharp.
The bass play the brass
The chub play the tub
The fluke is the duke of soul
(yeah)

They ray he can play
The lings on the strings
The trout rockin' out
The blackfish she sings
The smelt and the sprat
They know where it's at
An' Oh. That blowfish blow

Well, the sea creatures on this bracelet are the ones who sang back-up.  They played the steel drums, too, but those aren't on the bracelet because they're hidden behind giant clam shells.

You'll see the smelt and the sprat, the blowfish, the plaice...  You'll also find a dolphin who sings tenor, four seahorses who are tone-deaf and merely dance like some back-up singers of old, some sea turtles who sing bass, two starfish who just want to be stars, and two Kissing Fish.

Kissing Fish are quite rare and are never found in captivity.  If they were, they'd be kissing everyone and everything, and no one would be able to blow bubbles or swim.

The group hasn't worked much since The Little Mermaid came out, but they've been working on a demo.  It's almost ready and soon you'll be seeing their faces everywhere.

The pressed glass fish, by the way, are songwriters, and a lot of their new tunes are on the demo.  Their reasoning was sound: if they kept singing Disney hits, they'd have to pay a lot of royalties.  Better to perform their own work.

So keep an eye out for them.  (The porcelain dolphin is handling PR.)

Darling it's Better Down Where it's Wetter

A BEADtual trip under the sea right here.