l(a
le
af
fa
ll
s)
one
li
ness
- e.e. cummings
Don't get leafed behind.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
A Couple of Owl Couplets
It's said that most owls mate for life.
If you want constancy, get an owl wife.
Owls are known to be nocturnal.
Those that aren't would be diurnal.
Owls have toes that are opposable.
Since they point two ways, we suppose-able.
Owls are found in hieroglyphics
Where they stand for glyph specifics.
Quick! Go buy buy some owlish pieces
Before all these couplets ceases!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
The Real History of Candy Corn
October 30th is National Candy Corn Day and internet history tells us it was created in the 1800s by the Wunderlee Candy Company. Later (say the various histories) it was made by the Goelitz Candy Company (who became Jelly Belly), and they have produced it ever since.
Nowhere but here can you learn the true history of candy corn. You see, it was actually created by witches around the beginning of the 15th century. Back then, witches were struggling with a lot of bad press and suffering a lot of persecution. People feared them, distrusted them, and suspected them whenever anything went wrong. Being the 15th century, of course, PLENTY went wrong on a daily basis.
So a coven of woodland witches west of Warsaw started brewing different concoctions in their cauldrons. They wanted to create something tasty and utterly lacking in any meaning that could be interpreted in an anti-witch fashion. Using mystical dyes and sugar imported by broomstick, they started making candies. The shapes were problematic since most any shape they came up with could end up even more witch anti-witch connotations.
But one day a witch named Xochitl, who flew in from South America, brought some ears of corn. The witches in question figured the shape of a corn kernel was safe, and they created a candy shaped like a very large kernel of corn.
Since red and green had more symbolic connotations, all of which could be used against witches, they made their candies orange, yellow, and white, with sucessive teams of witches creating each layer.
Just as they were about to premier their concoction in France, there was a new wave of witch-burnings. The witches decided to keep the candy corn for themselves and find a nice quiet place to live until the uproar died down. They found a quiet little town in the south of France, disguised themselves as nuns, and pretended they had taken a vow of silence until life became safer for them.
The anti-witch uproar, of course, did not die down for centuries, and eventually the recipe was lost.
Finally, while searching for cave paintings, an explorer in the south of France came across the recipe. He sent it to a maiden aunt in Wichita who the neighborhood children suspected of being a witch. He thought it would cheer her up and perhaps, with it, she could allay the fears of the suspicious youths. She made a batch but, while her candy corn was cooling, the recipe blew out the door, ending up at the Wunderlee Candy Company.
The Wunderlees never suspected it of being a witch recipe, and merely thought it to be a wonderful bit of good fortune. And the rest is internet history.
This candy corn, by the way, is not edible. The witches tested it to be sure.
Nowhere but here can you learn the true history of candy corn. You see, it was actually created by witches around the beginning of the 15th century. Back then, witches were struggling with a lot of bad press and suffering a lot of persecution. People feared them, distrusted them, and suspected them whenever anything went wrong. Being the 15th century, of course, PLENTY went wrong on a daily basis.
So a coven of woodland witches west of Warsaw started brewing different concoctions in their cauldrons. They wanted to create something tasty and utterly lacking in any meaning that could be interpreted in an anti-witch fashion. Using mystical dyes and sugar imported by broomstick, they started making candies. The shapes were problematic since most any shape they came up with could end up even more witch anti-witch connotations.
But one day a witch named Xochitl, who flew in from South America, brought some ears of corn. The witches in question figured the shape of a corn kernel was safe, and they created a candy shaped like a very large kernel of corn.
Since red and green had more symbolic connotations, all of which could be used against witches, they made their candies orange, yellow, and white, with sucessive teams of witches creating each layer.
Just as they were about to premier their concoction in France, there was a new wave of witch-burnings. The witches decided to keep the candy corn for themselves and find a nice quiet place to live until the uproar died down. They found a quiet little town in the south of France, disguised themselves as nuns, and pretended they had taken a vow of silence until life became safer for them.
The anti-witch uproar, of course, did not die down for centuries, and eventually the recipe was lost.
Finally, while searching for cave paintings, an explorer in the south of France came across the recipe. He sent it to a maiden aunt in Wichita who the neighborhood children suspected of being a witch. He thought it would cheer her up and perhaps, with it, she could allay the fears of the suspicious youths. She made a batch but, while her candy corn was cooling, the recipe blew out the door, ending up at the Wunderlee Candy Company.
The Wunderlees never suspected it of being a witch recipe, and merely thought it to be a wonderful bit of good fortune. And the rest is internet history.
This candy corn, by the way, is not edible. The witches tested it to be sure.
Monday, October 18, 2010
A Beaded Tour of the Magic Castle
Welcome to the Magic Castle in Hollywood, California... as shown in beads and charms.
At the door, you are greeted by an owl.
Say the magic words... "Open sesame!" The door slides open.
You enter the Grand Salon Bar, Just past that is the room where Irma, the piano-playing ghost, tickles the ivories and can play most any request.
Beside the piano is a birdcage where her ghostly bird twitters.
Within the Magic Castle, there are various showrooms where magicians perform. You might see an escape artist.
In the Close-up Gallery, you could see some card tricks, or perhaps some effects with coins or dice.
There's even a haunted phone booth.
The place is filled with things magical and mystical...
The place is filled with things magical and mystical...
...that you will never be able to explain.
(That's why you needed this beaded tour.)
A Few Favorite Halloweeny Things
To be sung to the tune of "These Are a Few of My Favorite Things"
(but with an attitude)
Black cats and spider and skulls that are haunting,
Witches on broomsticks and hats that they're flaunting,
Night creatures swooping on dark silent wings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Skeletons dancing a wild monster mashing,
Daytime vampires who spend their nights flashing,
Fat jack o' lanterns about whom we sings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Spiders with eight legs and skulls who have no legs,
Cool pirate costumes pretending with leg-pegs,
Candy corn, apples, and Halloween blings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Ghosts wearing white sheets just reeking of Clorox,
Witches who'd benefit from bits of Botox,
Ghoulishly gleefully flapping owl wings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Witches with cauldrons and hats that are point-ly,
Spiders who weave webs they inhabit jointly,
Pumpkins with candles and smells that that brings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
When the owl hoots
And eyes green newts
And the meals he's had
I simply remember these spookified things
Of Halloweens that we've had.
You can get spookified here.
Everything but the kitchen cauldron...
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