Weird Bird

Weird-Bird 

by Shel Silverstein

 

Birds are flyin' south for winter.

Here's the Weird-Bird headin' north,

Wings a-flappin', beak a-chatterin',

Cold head bobbin' back 'n' forth.

He says, "It's not that I like ice

Or freezin' winds and snowy ground.

It's just sometimes it's kind of nice

To be the only bird in town."

Weird (and not-so-weird) birds on eBay

The Chicken Who Laid the Golden Egg

You've all heard the tale of the goose who laid the golden egg, and even the bird who laid the blue eggs.

This, however, is the chicken who laid the golden eggs.  (She's a distant relative of the aforementioned goose, but they never actually met.)

At one time she was held captive by the Giant who lived in the beanstalk.

But then it was Jack-to-the-Rescue.  At least, that's the way Jack told it.  The chicken thought it involved a bit of petty thievery, but it did get her away from the Giant, for which she was grateful.

She was so traumatized that, for a while, she didn't lay any eggs.  But eventually she got back on her feet.  After a brief stay with Jack and his mother, she moved out, anxious to be on her own.  She did quite well in the jewelry district and eventually built up a nice little nest egg.

With that, she opened a cage-free cruelty-free chicken ranch, where chickens were free to roam and peck and cluck and get their feathers ruffled.

She taught classes on golden egg laying so more chickens could be self sufficient.

She also taught a self defense class.  

"You never know when you'll meet up with a Giant," she always cautioned.

This replica of her, in lampwork glass, can be found on etsy.  The bead was created by Lauren Bramble of Crowbirdie beads.  She never met a chicken she didn't like.

Chickens, eggs, and stories.

Return of SuperChicken

When you find youself in danger, 
When you're threatened by a stranger, 
When it looks like you will take a lickin', (puk, puk, puk) 
There is someone waiting, 
Who will hurry up and rescue you, 
Just Call for Super Chicken! (puk, ack!) 

 

Fred, if you're afraid you'll have to overlook it, 
Besides you knew the job was dangerous when you took it (puk, ack!) 

He will drink his super sauce 
And throw the bad guys for a loss 
And he will bring them in alive and kickin' (puk, puk, puk) 
There is one thing you should learn 
When there is no one else to turn to 
Call for Super Chicken! (puk, puk, puk) 
Call for Super Chicken! (puk, ack!)

Everyone needs a SuperChicken.  These are in my 10 for 10 shops - 10 different pieces that are $10 each.  Grab 'em before they hit the road.

etsy

ebay

That Whole Easter Bunny Thing

Let me get this straight.



Easter eggs come from Easter bunnies.



Not chickens.



But they don't necessarily lay the eggs.



That's a job for Easter chickens.



Easter bunnies just deliver the eggs.



But there's a shelf life on eggs.



So the Easter Bunny must get special eggs that don't decompose, and deliver them very quickly.



Otherwise, he is turned to chocolate.  Or hematite.



Okay.  I hope you finally understand.




Easter bunnies, Easter eggs, and assorted Easter goodies can be found here and here and here and all along the bunny trail.

Ballad of a Boneless Chicken

by Jack Prelutsky

I’m a basic boneless chicken,
Yes, I have no bones inside,
I’m without a trace of ribcage,
Yet I hold myself with pride,
Other hens appear offended by my total lack of bones,
They discuss me impolitely
In derogatory tones.



I am absolutely boneless,
I am boneless through and through,
I have neither neck nor thighbones,
And my back is boneless too,
And I haven’t got a wishbone,
Not a bone within my breast,
So I rarely care to travel
From the comfort of my nest.



I have feathers fine and fluffy,
I have lovely little wings,
But I lack the superstructure
To support these splendid thing.
Since a chicken finds it tricky
To parade on boneless legs,
I stick closely to the hen house,
Laying little scrambled eggs.



Boneless chicken right here.