The Beads Predict Your Future for 2011

Some throw the I Ching sticks.  Some turn over Tarot cards.  Some gaze into a crystal ball.  Me?  I consult the beads that have fallen to the floor and, based on their configurations, I predict the future.  Prepare yourself to be dazzled and amazed.  (I'm predicting that, too.)

January

A cold man with a heart of ice will have a meltdown in your yard.



February

You will search for a childhood romance on FaceBook.




March

You will catch a leprechaun.  He will refuse to divulge the location of his pot of gold, but he'll cheerfully sit down and share a pint with you... as long as you're buying.



April

If you celebrate Easter, you will find a special Easter egg.  One that was hidden last year. Wear gloves.



If you celebrate Passover, you will find a special Afikomen.  One that was hidden last year.  Bring the dustpan.



May

If you go a-Maying, you may not return 'til June-ing.  So bring you cell phone and a change of undies.




June


You will receive a gift from someone who sells seashells by the seashore... or sand by the desert... or woodchips by the forest.



July

You will have an explosive encounter with someone from your past.



August

You will travel to a strange land and encounter an animal heretofore unseen by you.  Or you'll take a trip to the zoo.  In either case, wear sunscreen.



September

When autumn leaves start to fall, you'll think wistfully about song lyrics.




October


A voice from the past will haunt you,.  Give him a treat.



November

No matter what the situation, you will become aware of the many things for which you can be thankful.





December


If you celebrate Christmas, you would do well to remember where you hid the gifts you purchased in August.

 

If you celebrate Hanukkah, expect an unexpected guest on the third night.





And now that the beads have spoken, they'll roll away once more.