Dame Wilma's Woeful Worries

Dame Wilma was a wondrous witch,
As wily as could be
But when it came to spells and such
In class, she earned a D.



She couldn't deal with eye of newt.
A frog's toe made her quiver.
Her cackling just was not off-key
And broomsticks made her shiver.




So when she went out on her own
To curse and cast her spells
She couldn't turn a prince to frog
Or make a brew that smells.

At last one day, two bats appeared
Her failures, they would banish.




They'd help her with her spells and then
Make her detractors vanish.




They called for aid from three small ghosts
(Named Manny, Mo, and Jack).




And then the five debated
The best means for their attack.


So with a brew of pumpkin and




A dash of candy corn




And much incessant chanting
They stayed up from night 'til morn.




At last, when day was breaking,
When the gloom of night had lifted
To inept Dame Wanda
A new spell they made and gifted.





And with the spell Dame Wanda could
Invoke all forces natural,
Make creatures do her bidding --
A conclusion satisfactual.

"But what was in this spell of yours?"
Dame Wanda had to query.
"A touch of this, a tad of that...
Ingredients ordinary."

"We simply added everything,"
Explained the Ghost-Bat Team,




"This always is essential:
Garlic, wine, and self-esteem."

Halloween: The Black and White Film Classic

Long before the Jasons and Halloween 3s, there were the classic horror films: Frankenstein, Dracula, The Werewolf, The Mummy... And all those were in glorious Black and White.

The characters on this bracelet come from a lesser-known Black and White classic horror film: Dance Hall of the Darned.  Directed by G. Goyle, the film followed the lives of a cast of bats, skeletons, black cats, ghosts, spiders, scarecrows, jack o' lanterns, witches, and a lone owl, all of whom were the last chosen as partners during dancing class. 



After spending too much time in their wooden chairs, feeling like wallflowers, they rose up to create their own dance steps: the Batusi, the Spider Shake, Skeleton Salsa, the Black Cat Bump, the Witchy Watusi, the Jack o' Lantern Jerk, and an Owl-ish version of YMCA.  

 

They took their dance act on the road, appearing after hours at such venues as The Crypt, Gus' Graveyard, and The Vindow Viper Room.

It became the feel-good B&W Halloween film of all time, thus losing any large following it might built over time.

Bid now and you'll get:

An entire dance troupe of skeletons, skulls, and bones



the Ghostly Trio,   



Watch-My-Feet Spider



The Batty Three



Wilhemina Witch and her Famous Hat Dance

Black Cat Carioca




 and more... all in glorious black and white.

Rhumba with the undead, Twist with the Twisted, Dance with the Darned...

Learn their dance steps and more right here...

Slishity-slosh

Rain

by Shel Silverstein

I opened my eyes
And looked up at the rain,
And it dripped in my head
And flowed into my brain,





And all that I hear as I lie in my bed
Is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head.

I step very softly,
I walk very slow,
I can't do a handstand--
I might overflow,




So pardon the wild crazy thing I just said--
I'm just not the same since there's rain in my head.



Slishity-slosh for your wrist right here... and maybe some slishity-slosh for your ears, too.

Batty

Batty

by Shel Silverstein

The baby bat

screamed out in fright,

“Turn on the dark,

I’m afraid of the light.”

Get CHARMed here.  (And EarBats here.)

More Venus (Veni?) of Willendorf

Some say that she's the goddess of all fertility,




Found in lower Austria by Josef Szombathy.




There's talk among the scholars she came from a mushroom cult:




The vision of a mushroom chomping Austrian adult.



Get CHARMed here.

Whatfore Art Thou, Venus of Willendorf?

Though the real one's carved of limestone
And this Venus of rose quartz
It's a better choice of gemstone
'Cause it rhymes with Willendorf.
(kind of)



Get CHARMed here.

Oh Those Skulls, Oh Those Skulls

Oh those bones, oh those bones,
oh those 22 skull bones.
Oh those bones, oh those bones,
oh those 22 skull bones.
Oh those bones, oh those bones,
oh those 22 skull bones.
Can you name them all?

 Oh, the Coronal suture's connected to the Frontal bone



And the Frontal bone's connected to the Sphenoid bone,



And the Sphenoid bone's connected to the Ethmoid bone,



And the Ethmoid bone's connected to the Lacrimal bone,



And the Lacrimal bone's connected to the Lacrimal canal,



And the Lacrimal canal's connected to the Nasal bone,



And the Nasal bone's connected to the Zygomatic bone,


And the Zygomatic bone's connected to the Condyloid process,

And the Condyloid process is connected to the Maxilla,



And the Maxilla's connected to the Mental foramen,



And the Mental foramen's connected to the Mandible,



And the Mandible's connected to the body,



And the body's connected to the Coronoid process,



And the Coronoid process is connected to the External auditory meatus,



And the External auditory meatus is connected to the Mastoid process,



And the Mastoid process is connected to the Mandibular fossa,



And the Mandibular fossa's connected to the Zygomatic process,



And the Zygomatic process is connected to the Occipital bone,



And the Occipital bone's connected to the Lambdoidal suture,



And the Lambdoidal suture's connected to the Temporal bone,



And the Temporal bone's connected to the Squamosal suture



And the Squamosal suture's connected to the Parietal bone.

Oh those bones, oh those bones,
oh those 22 skull bones.
Oh those bones, oh those bones,
oh those 22 skull bones.
Oh those bones, oh those bones,
oh those 22 skull bones.
Can you find them all?