Vendall the Vegetarian Vampire Bat

Straight from the latest EHAG Emporium, a bracelet of Bats in the Moonlight and the Tale of Vendall the Vegetarian Vampire Bat

This is the strange tale of a vampire bat
Who wanted to be vegetarian.
Instead of pigs, cows, horses, roosters, and sheep
He vanted a meal less barbarian.



His brothers and sisters and uncles and aunts
Served up cocktails of hemoglobin
While Vendall the Vampire Bat loudly vowed,
"No blood shall e'er stain my micro- chin!"



When out in the moonlight his family swooped
To sup on sweet sangre de vaca,
Vendall the Vampire Bat sneered and said,
"That stuff to my tongue tastes like caca!"



While Grandmother, Grandfather, GreatGrandma, too
Dined out on fat pigs who were snoozin',
Vendall the Vampire Bat said, "No, thanks!"
For fruit smoothies Vendall vas crusin'.



While they supped on sheep blood and blood of the rooster
Vendall ate mango and guava.
The others drank plasma and chasers of platelets
While Vendall vashed his down with java.



By vy, Vendall vondered, do I eat like this?
And vy is my family Vampire-ish?
"It's 'cause you're adopted, my son," said his mom.
Asked Vendall, "Does that mean I'm Irish?"



So Mama Vampire took Vendall aside.
She hung upside down citing stats.
The rest of the family?  Desmodus rotundus.
But Vendall came straight from fruit bats.







If you're vondering vere you can find this bracelet, it's here.

Darling it's Better Down Where it's Wetter

A BEADtual trip under the sea right here.

A Sneaky Bat Preview

Here's a sneak peek at the Moonlight & Bat bracelet debuting on the EHAG Emporium on July 31st at 9 PM.  And a Shel Silverstein poem, because it's cool.

Batty

by Shel Silverstein

The baby bat

screamed out in fright,

“Turn on the dark,

I’m afraid of the light.”

 

A Beady Reunion

Years passed.  Beads were created.  Beads fell.  Beads rolled away.  Beads became jewelry.  They joined key rings and necklaces, bracelets and rings, earrings and anklets.  Some would meet after years had passed and recall time spent on the mandrel, or the days in the beadmaker's kiln.  Some would find each other on bead social networking sites like BeadBook and MyBead.  At last they decided that a reunion was called for.

The invitations went out to all the corners of the world.  And soon the beads began their winding trek to the site of the reunion.



They followed ancient paths and goat trails.



They criss-crossed continents, rolling hither and yon.



They hitched rides on freighters, stowed away in airplane cargo bays, hopped freight trains until at last they were reunited.



Their were representatives from all the continents, with beads of pottery and shells...



...beads of stone and beads of bone...



...beads of wood and beads of glass...



All night long they rolled and strung each other.  They matched shape and played games arranging themselves by size.  They wire-wrapped their friends and their new acquaintances.  They fused.  And then, as quickly as they gathered, they returned, for they had a destiny.



To celebrate earth with pretty shiny things.

An Ode to the Hibiscus

You can make it into twine,
You can turn it into tea.
You can rub it on your head
Where you'd like more hair to be.



You can blend it in a chutney,
You can mix it for a dye,
As a lotion on your booboos
You might give the leaves a try.



It will heal cracks on your feet.
It will blend to make a beer.
It is used for making paper.
For a cough, it has no peer.



Worn behind the ear it tells you
Who is single, who is married.
As an offering at Kali's shrine
The blooms are often carried.



Of its fibers, wigs are fashioned,
And grass skirts that surely tickle.
Some claim it's a contraceptive.
Other make hibiscus pickle.



It's in soft drinks. It's in water.
It can help prevent VD.
It can darken shoes and eyebrows
And cure camel sores, you see.



But the reason that I used one
On this bracelet that I made
Is because the flower's pretty
And the beaded ones don't fade.

Non fading hibiscus flowers right here.

Blueberry Blurb

Is a blueberry blue?





I don't know if that's true.




But to munch a free radical




No fruit's more emphatical.




Don't eat these.

Skull Dancing

"Twas midnight in the moonlight
When the skulls began their dancing,
Doing Mambos, Tangos, Waltzes
And some eye-to-eye romancing.




They tried pirouettes and pliés,
Arabesques and battement
Rising up above the tombstones
Trying dance steps lentement.




They danced the Twist and Bunny Hop,
The Frug and the Watusi,
The Hully Gully and the Swim,
Until their joints got loose-y.




They ended with some Moonwalking
And danced the Ham and Eggs
But then they stopped because it would
Be easier with legs.



Dance here for skulls.

Kitties Who Wish on Stars

Star light, star bright,
First star  see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have the wish I make tonight...



Did you know that cats wish on stars?  That verse above?  That was being uttered by a cat.  When it's the magical hour ~ the hour when suddenly no cat wants to be brought inside for the night ~ that's what cats are doing.  They're racing outside to be the first one to spot the first star, because that first cat with the first star is the cat who gets her wish.  Only one cat succeeds each night.  The competition is fierce.



Take the case of George.  George is a wishful guy.  So every day, as the sun begins to set, George trundles outside and looks heavenward for the first star.



Then he says,
Star light, star bright,
First star  see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have the wish I make tonight...

The first night he tried, he wished for a new collar.  He didn't get one.

The next night he hurried outside again, and meowed the special words.  This time he wished for the mat fairy to come and comb out his mats.  The mat fairy never showed up, but the cat next door wished fot a grocery bag to crawl in, and was last seen crawling in one, so George could see how he needed to persevere.



The following evening George was a little late because he'd been swatting at the dog, but he tried anyway.  He wished for big paws.  But he was pretty sure he wasn't the lucky cat that night.

Then, the next afternoon, George thought he'd be smart.  He'd go out early and wait for the first star to twinkle in the sky.



He waited and waited and waited.  The sky started to grow dim.  The earth cooled.  The trees whispered.  And then, magically, a star appeared in the sky.


"Star light, star bright,
First star  see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have the wish I make tonight..."

George purred.  He made his wish: fresh tuna in his bowl!




He got up.  He stretched.  He ambled inside, and what did he see...



...but the most beautiful pile of sliced tuna that ever existed.  George purred and rolled around and ate like a kitty king that night.



That night, as he lay on his fluffy pillow, George pondered the wonder of his wish.  He could have wished for anything, for that was his night!

Then George began to worry.  What if his night never came again?

And then he worried even more.  Why hadn't he asked for something bigger, more important?  Finally he fell asleep, dreaming of wishes waiting to be fulfilled.

So the next night, George prepared early.  He sat and waited for the first star, and when he saw it, he meowed the rhyme:


Star light, star bright,
First star  see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have the wish I make tonight...

He made his wish: for peace on earth between all humans and all kitties and even dogs.

George did not get his wish that night, though he did get a nice new collar.  And every night, from that evening forward and for the rest of his life, George went out and made his wish for peace.

"It's the least I can do," said George.



So if you see your cat looking at the stars, give them that moment because they might just be wishing for something wonderful for us all.

P.S.

One shouldn't wish for a bracelet.  Just buy it here, and wish for something important.

Another Poseidon Adventure

Poseidon was one of three sons of Cronus and Rhea.  Together with his brothers, Zeus and Hades, Poseidon ruled over the world. Cronus was in the habit of swallowing his children, and his three remaining sons were fed up... so to speak.  According to legend, Poseidon and his brothers defeated Cronus and freed their siblings.  Then the three brothers divvied up the world.  Poseidon got the sea,  Zeus got the heavens, and Hades inherited the underworld.  They decided to share the earth.



A dysfunctional family from the start, relations continued to deteriorate after Poseidon summoned a sea monster to collect back pay.  Posiedon also waged running feuds with Athena, Hera, Zeus, and Dionysus.  Usually he lost the argument and the battle.  But no one ever disputed Poseidon's right to rule the seas.



With his trident he commanded waves, caused storms, wrought earthquakes, sunk boats. and caused springs to flow. 



And he had a special relationship with dolphins.



But Poseidon was lucky in love.  He fell in love the first time he saw Amphitrite dancing with her sisters.  When he asked for her hand in marriage, she refused and hid in the forest, so Poseidon sent a dolphin to look for her.  The dolphin not only found Amphitrite; he convinced her to marry Poseidon.



As a reward, Poseidon placed the dolphin in a constellation, and Poseidon and Amphitrite lived happily ever after.





Some helpful dolphins for you.