You thought they were snowmen, didn't you? Jolly happy souls, made of snow, who occasionally came to life.
And sure, some of those snowmen and snow-women you see are the jolly happy souls.
Then there are... the Un Dead. The snowpeeps who are no longer among the living, who search for brains, who lose limbs and don't seem to notice or care.
Try the zombie checklist:
- Snowman zombies are undead. This means they used to be dead, but are somehow reanimated .
- Zombies don't walk. They shuffle, slide, and roll.
- Zombies generally have their arms outstretched.
- Zombies don't talk. They do make sounds -- usually something like "Aaaaaangh!" or "Braiiiiiiiiiins!"
- Zombies wear dirty torn clothes, if they wear any clothes at all... like a castaway muffler or an old hat.
- Zombies are usually covered in blood. Snowman zombies, having different circulatory systems and different eating habits, are covered in, well, snow.
- Zombies look like they're sick. You know - kind of bloated, with little body definition.
- Zombies have dead expressions and vacant stares. Their eyes might as well be two lumps of Kingsford charcoal.
- Zombies crave brains. What do you think these are carrying in their hands?
- Zombies will get up after you run them over with your car.
So what to do in case you meet up with a snowman zombie?
Best case scenario: Avoid the zombie in question. Failing that:
- Some say decapitation works best and will stop a zombie in his tracks.
- Cutting a zombie into tiny pieces with some sort of chainsaw works, but in the case of snow and electrical chainsaws there can be electrocution problems. A snow shovel should do the trick.
Zombies will lunge at you if they think they have an open shot at your brains. And on that subject, it is best to keep your head and brains covered.
The zombie snowmen in these earrings will actually protect you. You see, each one is already carrying a brain. So they won't need yours. If other zombie snowmen see them, they will think the brains are YOUR brains, and move on to someone else.
These protection zombie snowmen are available on etsy. Can you afford to be without them?