Friday, September 30, 2011

What's in Your Witch's Brew?

"Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg, and howlet's wing,--
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble." 

No. Wait.  That doesn't sound very tasty.
The witch on this bottle stopper has mixed up a brew of her own, with the help of her little batty familiar. (And yes, he brought her the flower.)  The witch and bat are made of lampwork glass, set off with Swarovski crystals and sterling silver.  The flower is made of Czech pressed glass, with a Swarovski crystal and sterling silver.

Brew Recipe

Perfect grapes of Cabernet,
Stomped by foot in my chalet
With a dash of Beaujolais
And a splash of Chadonnay.

Served up with a bread with crust
Crisp and warm and quite robust
And a wheel of Brie that must
Give beneath the test thumb's thrust.

That's this witch's wish for you
To last all this season through,
Because, from her point of view,
That's the perfect witch's brew.

A seasonal wine bottle stopper to stop your seasonal wine bottle.

Cost is 49.99, and 5.25 Priority Shipping.

Now in my etsy shop.

More Halloween BrightandShinyThings can be found
in my etsy and eBay stores.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

The Return of Witchy Wilma

Dame Wilma was a wondrous witch,
As wily as could be
But when it came to spells and such
In class, she earned a D.

She couldn't deal with eye of newt.
A frog's toe made her quiver.
Her cackling just was not off-key
And broomsticks made her shiver.

So when she went out on her own
To curse and cast her spells
She couldn't turn a prince to frog
Or make a brew that smells.

At last one day, two bats appeared
Her failures, they would banish.
They'd help her with her spells and then
Make her detractors vanish.

They called for aid from three small ghosts
(Named Manny, Mo, and Jack).
And then the five debated
The best means for their attack.

So with a brew of pumpkin and
A dash of candy corn
And much incessant chanting
They stayed up from night 'til morn.

At last, when day was breaking,
When the gloom of night had lifted
To inept Dame Wilma
A new spell they made and gifted.

And with the spell Dame Wilma could
Invoke all forces natural,
Make creatures do her bidding --
A conclusion satisfactual.

"But what was in this spell of yours?"
Dame Wilma had to query.
"A touch of this, a tad of that...
Ingredients ordinary."

"We simply added everything,"
Explained the Ghost-Bat Team,

"This always is essential:
Garlic, wine, and self-esteem."

Dame Wilma's Witchy necklace here.

Monday, September 26, 2011

The Return of the Two Teenage Flying Pigs

by Cornerstoregoddess


Once upon a time there were two teenage flying pigs.  When June came and school was out for the summer, and their parents suggested they get summer jobs and start being more independent, they packed their PlayStation and their Wii and left their parents' sturdy boring brick home to see the wide wonderful exciting world. 


All that summer they roamed the woods, playing paintball games and having fun.  None were happier or more carefree than the two teenage flying pigs.  They made friends everywhere they went, crashed on new acquaintances' couches, and played video games with their new buddies.  But as summer days grew shorter and fall approached, all their new friends were heading back to school and preparing for the year ahead.  The two teenage flying pigs wanted nothing to do with all that, and continued to roam the woods.

There were no more couches to crash on or free meals, and the teenage pigs finally realized that they needed a real home.  Unwilling to return to their parents' home, they agreed that they needed to get jobs, perhaps being phone psychics,  or they would be left out in the cold rain with no roof over their heads. They talked about what they should do, but, as usual could not agree on a plan.  The youngest teenage pig said he would build a house of straw and run his business there.  It would take no time at all, and then he'd be free to watch DVDs and eat cheetohs between calls.  

 His brother, who was by no means a wise and responsible flying pig himself, told his younger brother, "A house of straw will blow right over in the wind."  But the younger pig had made up his mind, and headed to a nearby farm to "borrow" some straw.  His house was done in a day.  When his parents came by to visit, his father shook his head and warned that such a house would never withstand the rain and wind and snow.  Moreover, it would not protect him from a wolf attack.  The young pig, as usual, blew off his father's warning, borrowed some cash to see him until his next payday, and went back to his DVDs.

The older brother, only slightly more sensible than his sibling, headed to a construction site to "borrow" some wood.  His job was harder than that of his brother.  It took several days to nail together a ramshackle shack, but at last he was done and ready to spend the winter watching DVDs and eating ramen and making psychic predictions.  

His parents came to visit and again the father warned his offspring that such a house, while it might protect him from light winds and drizzle, was not strong enough to withstand the winter, or a dreaded wolf attack.  The older pig brother, however, ignored his father's warning, borrowed some cash to see him until his next payday, and went back to his Grand Theft Auto 3.

 The days went by.  Father and Mother Pig returned home and spent their weekends adding weatherstripping to their brick house, insulating their attic, and securing their hot water heater to the wall.  They lamented the fact that their sons were not the sharpest knives in the drawer, but secretly they enjoyed the quiet and neatness that had descended on their home.  They cooked healthy vegetarian meals, watched classic films at night, and explored California cabernets.


The days went by and the older brother visited his younger brother.  They were happy to see each other and relaxed on the couch to play some video games when a storm started brewing.  The winds kicked up and the rain fell down... right through the roof.  Then the walls blew away and the brothers and their cheetohs were soaked and soggy.  "Quick!" said the older brother.  "Grab the PlayStation and let's go to my place."

Through the wind and rain they ran until they came to the wooden house.  They hurried in the door, set up the PlayStation, and picked up where they left off.  Outside the wind howled and the rains pounded but they were safe inside with their ramen and games.  


Until they heard a knock on the door.

"Dude!  It's open!" shouted the older brother.

And who should walk in the door but a great big wolf.  He said, "You've gotta help me!  There's a crazy lady out there doing aerial shooting of wolves and the forest isn't safe anymore!"


"I guess you can crash with us," said the older pig brother.  "But you'll have to help out with dishes and food and stuff."

"No problem," said the wolf.  "Just hang on while I get my old lady and the kids."

He left and soon he returned with his mate and four pups, all of whom leapt on the couch.   Soon they were all playing with the Wii and tossing ramen into each others' mouths.  But when the pigs were ready to turn in for the night, the wolves were still partying.  There was no place to sleep, and the noise level was louder than a rock concert on a summer night.


What's more, the wolves were (you should pardon the expression) real pigs, and there were bunny carcasses all over the floor.  Finally the pigs had had it.  They packed their ramen and cheetohs and Wii (leaving the PlayStation for the wolf pups) and flew home to their parents, where they (if not their parents) lived happily ever after.


The wolves lived happily ever after, too.  Because, if you're a wolf, you really don't need a house of brick.  (But a PlayStation helps.)

Pigs and wolves can be found  here and here.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Skunk Outwits Coyote

a Native American Tale

told by Cornerstoregoddess


One day Coyote was out walking, feeling  hungry, when he met up with Skunk. "Hello, brother," said Coyote. "You look hungry and I'm quite hungry, too. If I lead the way, will you join me in a trick to get us something to eat?" 

"I'd be happy to join you," answered  Skunk. "There's a  prairie dog village just over that hill.  Why don't you go down there and play dead?  I'll wait a while, and talk to the prairie dogs and say,  'Why don't we dance on the dead body of our enemy?'"

This sounded like a foolish idea to Skunk.  How could one get anything to eat by playing dead and dancing.  "Why should I do this?" he asked.

"Stop stalling," insisted Coyote.  "Puff yourself up and play dead."

 Skunk sighed, but did as Coyote asked.  He went to the prairie dog village, clutched his heart, and pretended to fall over dead.

A while later, along came Coyote.  He saw several Prairie Dogs playing outside their holes, keeping a good distance away from Skunk.

"Oh, look!" said Coyote. "Our enemy is dead on the ground.  Let's dance to celebrate.  Call everyone from their burrow holes, and be sure to stop up the doors behind them."

The foolish prairie dogs did as he said. "Now," said Coyote, "we must all stand in a big circle and dance with our eyes closed. If anyone opens his eyes to look, he will immediately turn into something very bad." 

The Prairie Dogs, not being the brightest of creatures, began to dance with their eyes closed.  Quickly Coyote killed one.

Then he called out, "Everyone open your eyes!"  The Prairie Dogs opened their ees and were horrified to see one of their own lying dead on the ground.

"Oh, dear," said Coyote, "Look at your poor brother. He opened his eyes and died. Quickly, all of you!  Close your eyes and dance again.  Don't look, or you'll die, too!"

Again they began to dance.  One by one, Coyote drew them out of the dance circle and killed them. At last, one of the Prairie Dogs became suspicious.  He opened his eyes, and when he saw what was happening, he called out, "Coyote is killing us!"

At his warning, all the survivors raced to their homes, trying to unstop the holes.

Skunk stood up, laughing at how easily Coyote had tricked them.  He helped Coyote gather firewood.  Together they began to roast the Prairie Dogs that Coyote had killed.

The meal smelled so good that Coyote decided he would rather eat it all himself, so he turned to Skunk and made a suggestion.  "Let us run a race," he said.  "The winner shall have first pick of the most delicious Prairie Dog."

But Skunk shook his head.  "You are too fast," he said.  "I am a slow runner, and would never be able to overtake you."

"No problem" said Coyote.  "I shall tie a rock to my foot."

"All right," said Skunk.  "If you tie a rock to your foot, I will race you."

The two decided that he base of the hill would be their race course.  "Why don't you get a head start while I tie this rock to my foot," suggested Coyote.  

Skunk began to run.  Soon he was around the hill and out of sight.  Coyote tied a rock to his foot and started after him, slowly at first.  But soon he kicked the rock loose and sped up.

Skunk, however, had found a pile of brush along the course.  He ran there and hid.

As soon as he saw Coyote race past, he turned back and went straight to the cooking fire.  He raked all the roasted prairie dogs out of the coals, except for two small bony ones that he did not want. Then he cut off the tails and stuck them back in the ashes, and carried the meat away to the brush pile. 

Coyote, meanwhile, was loping along, sure that Skunk was just ahead around the next bend.  He was a bit puzzled, however.  He didn't know that Skunk could run so fast.

Soon he circled back to the cooking fire, where he saw the tails sticking out.  He seized one and tasted it.  "This is delicious!" said Coyote.  He took another.

But then he started to suspect that something was wrong.  Taking a stick, Coyote raked through the coals, but all he found were two bony overcooked Prairie Dogs.

"Someone has stolen our meat," he said, as he ate the two tasteless Prairie Dogs.

Skunk, meanwhile, had feasted delicious Prairie Dog.  He crept to the top of the hill and looked down at Coyote.

Coyote began to search everywhere, trying to find who had stolen his meat.  As Coyote searched, Skunk threw some prairie dog bones down on him. Coyote looked up and saw him.  "You took all the delicious prairie dogs!" he roared. "Give some of them to me!"

"No," Skunk answered. "We ran a race for them and. I beat you so I'm going to eat all of them."

Coyote begged and begged for some of the delicious prairie dogs, but while he was still pleading, Skunk swallowed the last bite... because Skunk was a better trickster than Coyote.

Coyote and skunk charms can be found here and here.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

There's a Witch Outside My Window

by Kenn Nesbitt

There's a witch outside my window and she will not go away.
There's a gremlin on my doorstep and I think he's there to stay.

There's a troll demanding candy and a mummy wanting sweets.
There's a ghost, a ghoul, a goblin and they're clamoring for treats.

And as if that weren't enough to be considered rather shocking.
A vampire rang my doorbell and the bogeyman is knocking.

My abode is now surrounded by the recently deceased,
They're in search of gum and chocolate on which they plan to feast.

It's the strangest situtation that I think I've ever seen.
How I wish they'd go away and just come back on Halloween.

The witch outside the sindow bracelet is up for auction on eBay this week. 

Friday, September 23, 2011

A Harvest Angel for Fall Equinox

The Harvest Angels watches over the harvest.

But she does more.  After everything is harvested, the Harvest Angels makes sure that seeds and kernels and bits of the crop are left behind... that all the animals have enough food to hold them through the cold winter ahead.

Everyone needs a harvest angel.  She can be found here and here.

Mabon is the Autumn Equinox. The Autumn Equinox divides the day and night equally, and we all take a moment to pay our respects to the impending dark. We also give thanks to the waning sunlight, as we store our harvest of this year's crops. The Druids call this celebration, Mea'n Fo'mhair, and honor the The Green Man, the God of the Forest, by offering libations to trees. Offerings of ciders, wines, herbs and fertilizer are appropriate at this time. Wiccans celebrate the aging Goddess as she passes from Mother to Crone, and her consort the God as he prepares for death and re-birth.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

The Cannibal Chameleon

Squid can change color, much like a chameleon,

And navigate backwards with nary a wheel-ion.


Squids will eats small squid, which makes one a cannibal.

They'll sup on shrimp, crabs, and other sea animal.


Squid can shoot squid ink, which squid folk call sepia,


So when you're diving, you'd best watch your step-ia.

My unique one-of-a-kind never-seen-before squid pendant can be found here.